Broken Dreams & Battered Hearts
by Butterfly Betty
Summary: Photographer Bella Swan loves everything about living in Hawaii. The beach, the surf, the warmth. Everything but the two weeks when Professional Beach Volleyball takes over. Now, she's been cast with the joy of capturing every moment with her camera. Only, a tall, auburn haired player isn't making it easy for her to stay professional. Cannon Couples. UA and MA
1. Chapter 1

1

Bella Swan lay back on her surf board, the easy sway of the water lulling her into a relaxed state of mine. The warmth of the early morning sun caressed her skin, and she felt like if she reached up, she could pluck it out of the sky. It reminded her of the first time her father took her out onto the water. She'd barely been four years old and he put her on his shoulders while he rode the waves. She held her arms out and pretended she was flying.

Bella loved the water, loved the freedom it gave her, the clarity when her heart was heavy. It was her sanctuary, her safety net.

"Bella! Bella, get your ass back to the shore!"

Groaning, she sat up on her surfboard, turning her attention back to the edge of the water where her sister stood with a mega phone pressed against her lips. She'd been enjoying the peace and quiet that only the ocean brought. There was something about catching the first wave in the morning that Bella loved. Like for those few hours, the ocean belonged just to her.

But with a sigh, she turned her board back toward the shore and began paddling back. Once she was close enough to touch, Bella slipped off her board and wadded through the rest of the water. She stuck her board into the sand with force and brought her hands up to her hair, trying to wringing out as much water as she could.

"Why do you insist on making everything so hard?" Esme asked, placing her hands on her hips in a very mom-like way. If that's what mothers did. Bella wouldn't know.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Bella pulled her board out of the sand and headed back up to the house, leaning it against the side of the house. Esme followed her to the outdoor shower and waited while Bella rinsed off.

"You're not supposed to be in the water alone," Esme said, quietly — almost as if she knew Bella was going to be upset, which she was. Not at her sister. Esme was only doing what she thought was best, but Bella didn't care. She loved being in the ocean too much. "Bella!"

"What, Essie?" Bella cried out, exasperated. She turned off the shower. "You saw the surf. How could I resist?"

"You should have woken me. I'd have gone out with you."

"I tried," Bella lied.

"Bullshit, little sister," Esme scoffed and followed Bella up onto the front porch, where her towel lay. She dried off her arms and legs before wrapping it around her torso and turning to face her sister.

"You were snoring too loud to hear me," Bella teased. "Pretty sure you were drooling, too. Must have been dreaming about someone sexy."

"I was not!" Esme declared, but Bella just laughed as she turned and walked into the house and into her bedroom. Picking up her hairbrush, she sat in front of her dressing table and began brushing her hair, but had barely gotten started when Esme pulled it from her hand.

"Side braid?"

Bella nodded and watched her sister through the mirror as she began a sideward French braid. Though only a handful of years older than her, Esme had an old soul. She was caring and sweet, loving and protective of her family. Too protective at times, but that was just her. She was a stunningly beautiful woman with soft, caramel colored hair that hung in loose curls down her back and warm, welcoming brown eyes. Like Bella's. Their eyes were the only trait they seemed to share.

Bella's hair was darker, more of a dark chocolate and unlike Esme who had naturally wavy hair, Bella's hair was a straight as could be.

Esme finished the braid, letting it drape over her shoulder and placed her hands on the top of Bella's arms.

"I'm fine, Esme," Bella assured her.

"I know, but you know how much I worry."

"I do, but I feel great. Just let me live, okay?"

Esme nodded and tried to smile, but Bella could see the sadness in her eyes. "You'd better hurry before you're late. Don't want peanut to come looking for you again."

"Yes, ma'am."

Bella laughed and stood up. She pulled on the khaki shorts and black tank top she'd laid out the night before and a slipped them over her red and black bikini, ignoring the grimace from Esme for not putting on a pair of real underwear or a bra. Bella didn't see the point when she planned on being back in the water as soon as she could. Just one of the perks of living on the beaches of Hawaii, right?

Grabbing her backpack from next to the door, Bella slipped her feet into her favorite pair of Toms. She waved goodbye to her sister before rushing out of the small bungalow they shared and climbed into the rundown jeep she drove. It was a piece of junk, but her father had spent a year fixing it up for her sixteenth birthday and she loved it. Turning the radio up, she laughed as she pulled onto the highway and headed into town.

After stopping and picking up a coffee for herself and a tea for her best friend/business partner, Alice Brandon, Bella drove down to Waikiki Beach, parking in the lot just down the street from the studio she and Alice owned together: Swan Photography. Bella had been obsessed with photography since she was a little girl, when her father gave her a Polaroid camera for her fifth birthday. She took it everywhere with her, expect into the ocean.

Surfing was the only thing she loved more, but after she blew out her knee during a competition, she had to give up her dream of becoming a professional surfer and turned to her camera. Now, she was the woman behind the lens.

Alice ran the business side of their operation. She took care of everything from updating their website to making sure the rent got paid. Alice had a flare for business and knew how to manipulate a contract better than anyone Bella had ever met.

They'd been best friends for as long as Bella could remember. Esme teased that they'd been friends from the womb. Bella and Alice's birthdays were only three weeks apart. A tiny woman, Alice was barely five foot, but what she lacked in sized, she gained in spirit. She had long, black hair and bright, blue eyes that sparkled. She was incredibly beautiful, but it was her heart that Bella found so endearing. Alice was the type of woman to give you the shirt off her back if you needed it. She was incredible caring and loving. They'd been friends since their first day of Kindergarten.

Their office wasn't much. Basically, just a showcase of Bella's work. Their desks were located in the back corner, but the walls were covered with photographs that Bella had taken — everything from area shots of the islands to hidden spots that only the locals knew about. They were a reflection of her life, of her passion, her vision.

She found Alice perched up behind her computer, her chin resting on the palm of her hand and her bottom lip sucked between her teeth. She shifted her attention from the scene to Bella, smiling widely.

"Cutting it kind of close, weren't you, Bella?" Alice laughed as she accepted the cup of tea. "Thank you! I was going through withdraw."

"You're welcome. Sorry I'm late, but I was distracted," Bella said, smiling.

"Let me guess: you just had to be on the water this morning," she scoffed, turning her attention back to the computer in front of her.

Bella couldn't deny the truth in Alice's accusation. "Maybe. What's on the schedule for today, peanut?"

Alice sucked her bottom lip between her teeth again as she turned and faced Bella. The fact that she didn't make a face at her use of a nickname told her that whatever Alice had planned wasn't good.

"Don't be mad, okay? I wouldn't have said yes, but . . . the offer was too good to turn down."

"What offer?" Bella asked, warily.

"I got a phone call this morning from Felix."

"What'd he want? I told that after last time, I was done."

"I know, sweetie," Alice said, standing up and putting her hands up, "but their photographer got a better offer on another job. He left them without notice, and the tournament starts tomorrow."

"So, they want me to do what exactly?"

"Oh, you know, the usual." Alice waved a hand in the air. "They've offered twice what we normally charge and they're adding a portfolio to the deal. We'll make more in two weeks on this job than we did in the last three months alone. It's too good to turn down."

Bella sighed and closed her eyes before forcing them open and looking at her best friend. "Fine. I'll take the job, Alice, but I'm not happy about it."

"I know, and I'm sorry."

Nodding, Bella tried to smile. "Don't apologize, peanut. You're just doing your job, right?"

"Yeah," Alice murmured and sat back at her desk.

Bella grabbed her camera from her bag and kicked off her shoes before, heading toward the front door. "I'll be back in a bit, okay?"

"Sure thing, sweetie."

It only took Bella a handful of steps to find herself on the beach. Being so close to the ocean had been the catalyst when deciding which office to rent for their business. Barely nine in the morning and the beach was already crowded with tourists. Families who had come from the main land to escape reality for a bit. Bella felt that freedom every time she was on the water, every time she felt her board under her feet, and the spray of the water washing over her. She felt that freedom every time she captured an image through her camera. Well, almost all the time. She wasn't sure how she was going to get through the next two weeks.

Bella brought her camera up to her eye to snap a picture of a seagull that was skimming across the water, but before she could capture it, someone bumped into her and knocked her to the ground.

"Son of a bitch," she snarled, trying to keep her camera from landing in the sand as she rolled onto her back.

The man who'd run into her, stopped and looked back. He was tall, muscular, tan. He had wild auburn hair and green eyes, and he wasn't wearing a shirt. His chest was glimmering with sweat and his red shorts hung loosely on his hips.

"You should watch where you're running," she quipped, and stood up.

"You shouldn't be in my way," he countered and turned to continue to running up the beach.

"Sorry about him."

Bella looked behind her, to find another man. He, like his friend, wasn't wearing a shirt. He had on a pair of black shorts, and his blond hair had been pulled back into man-bun, which Bella usually hated, but it suited him. His blue eyes sparkled as he smiled and reached for her hand.

"Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

Bella opened her mouth to respond, but was interrupted.

"Whitlock, move your ass!" shouted the asshole.

Whitlock sighed, gave Bella a look, and took off down the beach after his friend.

Shaking her head at the nerve of people, Bella shifted her eyes down to her camera, groaning when she saw the crack in her lens. Just what she didn't need. Not only was she being forced to take pictures for the Pro Volleyball's Beach Tournament of Champions, but she's cracked her favorite lens.

Fuck her life, it was going to be a long two weeks.

 **If you've read this far, thank you! Hope you enjoyed the first chapter! I'm excited about this new fic. I plan to update every two weeks. If you've been reading my other fics, you can find them over on The Writer's Coffee Shop under the same pen name. I'm taking a chance by putting this here. Let's hope FF doesn't pull it. Do me a favor and drop me a review.**


	2. Chapter 2

2

Furious, Bella charged back up the beach to her studio. The door slammed shut behind her, causing her to wince when Alice's eyes shifted from her computer to her.

"Problems?"

"Just an asshole who thinks he's God's gift to women and owns the beach," Bella snarled as she walked over to her desk and sat down. "Have I mentioned how I loathe volleyball players?"

"A time or ten," Alice replied with a sigh as she stood up and walked to their small break room, not that they ever took breaks. She came back a moment later with a bottle of water and held it out to her. "You need to calm down before I have to call Esme."

Bella grimaced, but took the bottle from her, opened it, and took a drink, trying to calm herself. Alice would call her sister and the last thing Bella needed was for Esme to come storming into the studio. It was a miracle that Esme allowed Bella out of the house as it was.

"Better?" Alice asked and she nodded. "Good. You can't get so worked up, Swan. It's dangerous."

"I know, Peanut, but I just hate men like that. And he broke my lens."

"Not like you don't have another dozen in the back." Alice waved toward the store room where Bella kept her equipment.

"Whatever," Bella muttered, but stood up and walked over to the closet, digging out a new lens. "What time am I supposed to be on the beach in the morning?"

"Nine a.m.," she replied. "First match starts at ten. Felix wants to meet for drinks tonight, though. Talk out some details."

Bella groaned.

"It's better to get it over with now."

"Fine, whatever."

"I swear, Bella, you act like this is the worst job you could have gotten. Hot men, sweaty men, almost naked men — what's not to like?"

"Um, let's see? Attitude, egos, getting sand in places that sand doesn't belong. Fangirls with big tits and fake tans."

"Touché on everything but the sand, Swan. You love the feel of sand in your unmentionables," Alice teased.

Bella shrugged her shoulders. "Only when I'm surfing."

With a sigh, Alice swirled her chair toward her. "This is a chance that you won't get again. You know what the doctors said."

"I do," she said, frowning. "Which is why I'd rather be surfing."

"Something tells me this experience is going to change your life, Swan. And maybe mine, too."

Bella wasn't sure what Alice's cryptic message meant, and she wasn't about to ask. Alice had a way of seeing things that nobody else could, but Bella didn't believe for a second that spending the next two weeks surrounded by sweaty, meathead volleyball players was going to do anything to enhance the quality of her life. And that's all she wanted.

—BD&BH—

Just after seven that evening, Bella and Alice arrived at JJ's Sports and Grill, a popular bar among the native Hawaiians. The place was crawling with Volleyball players — both men and women — and Bella almost turned and walked out of the place. But before she could, Felix O'Neal spotted her from across the bar. He smiled and called out to her as he stood up and rushed through the crowd like they were best friends.

"Damn, Bella, you look good. What's it been? Five years?"

"More like eight," she quipped. "You know, when you betrayed me?"

Felix, a tall thin man with black hair and eyes, cringed. "Yeah, I was hoping you'd forgotten about that."

"Not yet."

"Maybe we should sit," Alice suggested, making her presence know. "You know, before she draws blood."

Felix laughed, but didn't say anything as he led the two of them through the crowd to a small table in the back of the bar. Bella sat with her back against the wall so she could see everyone. It was a habit her father had taught her when she was a little girl.

"Isabella Swan?"

Bella cringed at the sound of her name being called, but looked to the bar as her old friend, James, climbed over and nearly ran over to them. Tall with broad shoulders and shortly cropped blond hair, he pulled her into his arms, giving her a big hug.

"Where the hell have you been hiding yourself? It's been months since you've stopped by," he chided.

"Oh, you know. . ." Bella waved a hand in the air and put a smile on her face. "Been busy. And based on tonight, so have you."

"Eh, I manage," he said, shrugging his shoulders as he looked from her to Alice. "Hey, Peanut."

"James," Alice replied. "I see I don't warrant the same excitement that Swan here does."

James snorted, but grabbed Alice's hands and pulled her into a hug. "You're here at least once a week. She hasn't been here in six months. Maybe even nine."

"Yeah, yeah," Alice laughed and pushed him away. "Do me a favor and bring me my usual?"

"Sure thing, hon," he snickered and looked to Bella. "And for you?"

"Ice water. Lots of ice."

Giving her a look first, James turned to Felix. "Another beer?"

"No, not right now."

James nodded and returned a few minutes later with a large glass of ice water for Bella and large margarita with a shot of tequila on the side for Alice. For a tiny thing, she sure could drink. Bella took a sip of her water before turning her focus to Felix.

"So, you wanted to meet. Let's get this over with."

"Look, Bella, I know we've had some differences in the past."

"Differences?" Bella raised an eyebrow while Alice snorted. "I don't think you can call it 'differences.' You used me, Felix, and then threw me away when a more widely known photographer showed the tiniest bit of interest."

"I know, and I'm sorry," he said. "But that a long time ago. Can't we just forget and start over?"

Bella sighed and looked at Alice, who shrugged her shoulders. "I can't forget what you did, but I'm willing to take this job as long as you understand that I won't be fucked with again. Not by you, and certainly not by any of your players."

"Deal," Felix said with a smile. He pulled a contract out of his briefcase that was under his chair and laid it on the table in front of her. "I figured this would be a good idea. It's your standard agreement. You'll cover as much of the tournament as you can, and we'll guarantee twice your normal rate. Also, we'd like to take a couple days in the middle and have some solo shots of our high profile players done for the website."

"Hmm." Bella nodded and picked up the contract and began reading through it.

"I assure you that it's all standard," Felix said.

"I'm sure it is," she replied. "But I won't sign anything without reading it."

Bella stood up and picked up her glass of water. "I'll take it home and give it a thorough read. If I agree to the terms, I'll sign and bring it to you in the morning."

"And if you don't?" he asked. "How can I be sure that you'll show up in the morning?"

"Have I ever lied to you, Felix?"

"Well, no," he confessed.

"I'm not going to start now." Bella looked to Alice. "Do you need a ride, Peanut?"

"I'm going to stay for a bit." Her cheeks flushed red, but Bella didn't say anything. Alice deserved to have some fun. "Be careful going home. Text me when you get there."

"Yes, Mom," Bella teased and left her sitting with Felix.

She walked up to the bar and gestured for James, who gave her a finger letting her know it would be a minute. Bella had just lifted her glass to her lips to take another swig of her water when someone bumped into her from behind and she felt cold liquid seeping down her back into her shorts.

"Jesus fuck!" she screamed, spinning around and finding herself face to face with the asshole from that morning, who was now holding an empty beer mug. "Are you fucking kidding me?"

"Shit, I'm sorry," he mumbled, reaching across her to put the now empty glass on the bar and running a hand through his dark, auburn hair. Unlike that morning, he was now wearing a white dress shirt, but only the bottom three buttons had been done up and his sleeves were rolled up to his elbows. "Someone bumped into me and I turned to get out of the way and then you were there."

"Of course they did," Bella muttered. "You owe me a new camera lens, by the way."

"What? Why?" he scoffed, but then he started laughing. "Oh, shit, you're the broad from the beach this morning, aren't you? The bitch that got in my way."

Rage soared through Bella's veins. "Did you just call me a bitch?"

"Yep," he said with a smirk.

"Oh, you mother —"

A hand covered her mouth before she could let out the string of four letter words that begged to be released.

"Nuh, uh, Swan, let's keep it classy," James tittered and released her as the asshole from the beach scurried away.

"Ugh, that . . . that . . . that . . ." Bella screamed again and turned to James. "I can't believe you did that to me! Not like the chief was suddenly going to jump up from behind the bar and chide me for using foul language."

James laughed. "Charlie Swan would have, too. But don't let that deliciously handsome man cause you to be unladylike."

"Ew, you think he's handsome?" Bella gagged, though she found herself turning back and watching him as he stood on the other side of the bar with Whitlock, the guy he was running with that morning. Whatever the asshole said to him had him frowning and looking in her direction. Bella quickly looked away. "You can do so much better than someone like him, James."

"Yeah, I know, but he's hot and I'm horny. Though, with my luck, he'll be straight. What a waste of a perfectly good cock."

Bella shook her head. "Can I get a to-go cup for my water, please?"

"Sure, hon." A minute later, James slid a large, foam cup of ice water across the bar to her. "You okay? Never knew you to turn away a free drink before."

"I'm fine," she lied, knowing this wasn't the time or the place to get into her many life problems. "Do me a solid and keep your eye on Peanut?"

"I always do. Don't stay away, Bella. I've missed you."

"I've missed you, too," she said, her words thick with emotions.

Clutching her cup to her chest, Bella squeezed past everyone and outside, sucking in a deep breath of air. She missed her life already.

—BD&BH—

When Bella arrived back at her house, she sent Alice a quick text telling her she'd arrived safely. She knew her best friend would be beating down her door at three in the morning if she didn't. But feeling restless, Bella left the contract from Felix on her bed and stripped off her clothes, leaving her bikini on. She rushed outside, grabbed her surfboard, and headed for the water. A few minutes, she found herself just off shore. The moon cast a bright glow across the water.

"Figured you'd be out here," Esme groused, padding her own board next to Bella's. "Peanut texted, said you'd had a long day."

"I'm fine, Essie."

"I know," she said, coolly. "But she still said you'd had a long day."

"It wasn't the best day of my life."

"Of course it wasn't," Esme scoffed. "I wasn't around."

Bella laughed. "That must be it."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"It wasn't just one thing," she said, sighing. "Felix wants me to cover the PV tournament."

"Ah, that explains everything. You can tell him no."

"No, I can't," Bella scoffed. "Twice my normal rate, and Peanut is ridiculously excited."

"Yeah, but if you're not strong enough."

"I _am_ strong enough, Essie. Why do you always go there? I'm barely showing symptoms."

Esme sighed. "I'm sorry."

"Look, I know you're worried. So am I, but I refuse to stop living like he did."

"You're right." Esme smiled, but it was forced and faked. "Let's go back in. I brought home the stuff to make stir fry."

Bella wasn't ready to go in, but she knew Esme wouldn't want her to stay on her board alone, so she turned and paddled in after her. Once they had their boards rinsed off, she headed straight for the bathroom, while Esme went to start dinner. With the water warming in the shower, Bella opened the medicine cabinet and started pulling out prescription bottles. Half dozen pills lay in her hand when she was done. Shifting her eyes up to the mirror, she filled her glass with water and wondered what life would be like if she had a worry in the world. What a blissful existence that must be.

 **Thank you for all the reviews for the first chapter. I was overwhelmed by each and every one of them. Do me a favor and leave me another for this chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

3

Bella arrived at the beach just before eight. She'd learned a long time ago that the early bird got the worm when the PV tournament was in town and in this case, the worm was in reference to a decent parking spot. Parking along the beach was a nightmare on a normal day, but when you throw in hot, sweaty, half-dressed men and women, and well, it was like Black Friday shopping at Wal-Mart. People were fucking nut jobs.

However, Bella was lucky and found a space not too far from the pit. With Felix's contract tucked into her camera bag, she headed down to the beach, already annoyed by all the people gathering around the edges. Most of the women were wearing tiny bikinis in some vain hope of attracting the attention of the male players, which worked of course. Bella had seen it happen too many times.

"There you are, Swan," Alice called out. She was standing next to the ticket booth with Felix. Unlike the rest of the women, Alice wasn't wearing a bikini. Instead, she was wearing a strapless tube top and a pair of tiny shorts that only she could pull off successfully. "Thought you weren't going to show."

"I said I'd be here," Bella mumbled, digging through her bag for the contract. "It's still early."

"Maybe." Alice's undertone made it clear that she was concerned about her, but Bella opted not to call her best friend out. "You should have stayed last night. James got freaky with this tall, hot guy. I had to spray them with water to keep them from fucking on the bar."

"Wow, so sad I missed that," Bella replied dryly. She ignored the way Alice scowled as she handed the signed contract to Felix. "If you screw me on this deal, I will never forgive you."

"I know, Swan, you have my word."

Bella scoffed at the use of her last name by him. Like with Alice and James, Bella had known Felix all her life. They'd grown up together and somehow, she simply became Swan. Just like Alice was Peanut. Felix had taken it harder than Bella had when hopes of making it as a professional surfer were decimated. He had just started his career with PV, though he was a player and not management. They had had all kinds of plans to take over the world, but he tore up his shoulder and she blew out her knee. Should have seen that as a sign, but she was denial about her life. She wasn't going to end up like him, that's what she told herself at least.

"Here's your press pass. This should give you access to anywhere you want." Felix passed her a long lantern with her name and picture on the I.D. She didn't have to be a genius to figure out that he and Alice had been working on this job for a while. Felix didn't wait till the last minute to book a photographer, and he never started a campaign without having a backup, or two, ready. Yeah, they thought they were clever, but she was onto their little game.

"Felix! You have a problem!"

Bella started to laugh when Felix's face contoured into annoyance, but the person who had yelled bumped into her, causing her to start falling. Cursing under her breath, she braced herself to land hard, but a pair of arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her upward.

 _How cliché_ , she thought, but when she turned to her 'rescuer,' she groaned. It would be the asshole from before. Today, however, he was wearing a black and red tank top and a pair of red shorts that hung to his knees. "Why are you always up my ass?"

"I haven't had the pleasure of being up your ass, sweetheart," he said with a smirk. "But if that's an offer, I certainly wouldn't say no."

"Ugh, get the fuck off me," she snarled, pushing him away.

The asshole laughed and turned his attention to Felix. All amusement left his expression in an instant. "You had better do something about Newton, or I am going to end up in jail . . . again."

"Why can't you and Mike stop this stupid feud, Edward?" Felix grumbled, but before Edward could make some lame excuse, he took off, leaving Bella, Alice, and Edward alone.

Not in the mood to deal with the asshole, Bella gave Alice a look. "I'll check in with you, Peanut."

"Okay, Swan."

Bella glared at Edward before brushing past her, making sure to clip him with her shoulder on her way by. While she walked around, she took a few snapshots, knowing Felix would want some fan pictures to go with the player pics. He was predictable.

She flashed her pass at the ticket taker, who smiled and gestured for her to make her way inside the pit. Bella groaned as she approached the edge of the pit. There were already at dozen men's teams already gathered. A couple of them were practicing, while the others were gathered around the many, many fans who were clamoring for autographs, pictures, lovers for the next two weeks. Bella almost felt sorry for them.

Felix was standing in front of a wiry looking guy with spiky blond hair and a white tank top with Newton and One on the back. Next to him was a tall guy with dark hair. His white tank had Crowley and Two, which meant they had to be teammates. Whatever Newton was saying to Felix had his face turning red and Bella once again almost laughed. She should have more sympathy for her old friend, but she didn't — not after getting her wrapped up in the middle of this crap again.

"Hey, um, ma'am." Someone tapped Bella on the shoulder and when she turned around, she saw Whitlock standing a couple feet away from her. He was wearing the same black and red tank top that Edward was, which just confirmed that the two men were teammates. His hair had been pulled up into a man-bun and he was smiling. His blue eyes sparkled and for some reason, it irritated her. "We met yesterday."

"I don't think you can call what happened yesterday as us meeting," Bella replied, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah," he cringed. "Again, I'm sorry about that. Edward can be an ass, but he's not usually such an enormous ass."

"Oh, so he was saving it for me. Aren't I the lucky one?"

Whitlock laughed. "Guess so. He, um, told me what happened last night at JJ's, too. I'm sorry."

"You sure do apologize for him a lot," Bella pointed out. "Shouldn't he be the one to clean up his messes?"

"In theory," Whitlock quipped and offered her his hand. "I'm Jasper Whitlock."

Sighing, she slipped her hand into his. "Isabella Swan, but most people just call me Bella."

"It's nice to meet you, Bella," he cooed, releasing her hand. "Officially."

"You, too."

"Whitlock, move your ass," Edward yelled, and when she looked over her shoulder, she saw him standing on the other side of the pit, a glare in her direction.

"Guess it's time for me to get back to work." Jasper gave her a look before he ran around the crowd, stopping next to his teammate. Bella watched as the two of them had a heated conversation, that once again had Edward glaring in her direction.

 _Like she cared what he thought about her_ , she thought.

"Swan, there you are," Alice exclaimed, sliding to a stop next to her. "Oh, who is that delicious hunk of man next to Edward?"

Bella snorted. "His name is Jasper."

"What I wouldn't give for five minutes and a closet with that one." Alice waved a hand in front of her face and Bella gagged. "Oh, stop acting like you wouldn't bump uglies with any of these hotties."

"Um, I wouldn't," she lied. Well, not really. A year ago, she would have taken any one of them into her bed, but not anymore.

"Okay," Alice scoffed. "I'm heading to the office for a few minutes, just need to check messages and emails. Do you need anything?"

"Nope, I'm good," she said, smiling. "Better hurry before the first match starts. Don't want to miss all the sweating."

Alice laughed. "No, I do not."

Bella shook her head as her friend took off through the crowd. Bringing her camera up to her eye, she began to snap more pictures of the players, the fans in the stands, but paused when she zoomed in on Edward, who was leaning against the rails on the other side of the pit. He was laughing at something Jasper was saying. The look of euphoria on his face was breathtaking. There was a peacefulness that she envied, that she longed for. Tears filled her eyes as she snapped the picture. She missed laughing. The feeling that came with a real, deep, from the gut belly laugh. But then, she hasn't had much to laugh about lately.

—BD&BH—

Later that afternoon, Bella found herself kneeling in the sand as she watched Jasper and Edward playing against a team from China. The two moved smoothly, communicated their needs, and worked together better than any team she'd seen in years. Just three matches before, Newton had yelled at Crowley for not covering the net, even though the ball had been sent over Newton's head.

"How's it going, Swan?" Felix asked, kneeling next to her.

Bella opened her mouth to reply, but found herself unable to speak. The words were inside her head, but she couldn't get them to come out of her mouth.

"Hey, you okay?" he asked, placing his hand on her shoulder.

She shook her head as she shrugged his hand off and stood up, once more trying to force the words out, but unable to say anything. Her chest heaved as she began to panic, turning around in a circle and searching for Alice.

"Swan, what's wrong?" Felix asked, grabbing her shoulders and spinning her back so she was facing him.

Bella grabbed at her throat with one hand, trying to claw through her skin to get the words out, her eyes were wide and filled with unfallen tears. She felt helpless and it wasn't a feeling she enjoyed. She worked hard to keep control over her life, and it was moments like this that kept her from taking chances.

"Peanut!" Felix yelled, and Bella looked frantically to the press entrance of the pit as a guard attempted to keep Alice at bay. "Let her through."

Alice glared at the guard as she passed him. By now, the attention had been diverted from the match, which had stopped, and was on Bella, who struggled to breathe.

"Look at me, Swan," Alice ordered, putting her hands on either side of Bella's face. "You have to calm down. This is going to pass, but you have to calm down."

"Is everything okay?" Jasper asked as he and Edward came to stand on the other side of the barrier.

"She's fine," Alice lied, placing her hand on the middle of Bella's chest. She used her other hand to grabbed Bella's hand and placed it on her chest. "Match my rhythm, Swan. In and out. In and out. That's it. In and out. Good girl."

Bella's breathing was still ragged, but she managed to say, "Peanut . . . Peanut."

"I know, honey. Just focus on your breathing." Alice turned to Felix. "We'll be back in a few minutes."

"Um, okay?"

Alice didn't give Jasper or Edward another look as she lead Bella through the crowd that had gathered around them, past the guard, the spectators, and over to a hospitality tent, where staff and players could get water and snacks. Alice pushed Bella into one of the chairs and knelt in front of her.

"Someone bring me a water," she ordered, and they did a moment later. Alice unscrewed the lid and placed the bottle in Bella's hand. "Drink."

She nodded and brought it to her lips, trying to chug as much as she could, ignoring the way it dribbled from the side of her mouth and onto her shirt.

"That's enough." Alice tore the bottle out of her hands and placed it on the floor next to her. "Better?"

"I . . . I didn't . . ." Bella stammered and blew out a strangled breath. "I didn't feel this one coming."

"Probably missed the signs because of the excitement with the tournament."

"Yeah, maybe." Bella placed her hands on her knees and closed her eyes. Her episodes were always so exhausting and this one had been mild compared to some she'd had. "Where's my bag?"

"Shit, I left it at the pit," Alice groused, standing up. "Are you going to be okay while I go get it?"

Bella tried to smile and nodded, but the energy to fake it was just too much for her to handle at the moment. "Hurry."

Alice rushed out of the tent and Bella did her best to ignore the questioning looks coming from the tent's staff. For all they knew she'd overheated, or maybe her blood glucose had dropped, or dozen other possibilities that were easier to handle than the truth. The truth — the truth wouldn't set her free in this case. Nothing was going to save her.

Alice hurried into the tent with Esme right behind her. Bella groaned, not wanting to have this conversation with either of them. "Don't give me that look, Swan. She needed to know."

"Yeah, yeah," Bella whispered, but shifted her attention to her sister, who looked half pissed and half terrified. "I'm fine now, Essie."

"I'm sure you think so." Esme sat in the chair next to Bella and dug through her camera bag, pulling out her pills and counting them. "You forgot your lunch dose."

"I . . ." Bella tried to remember if she'd taken them, but she couldn't even remember if she'd eaten lunch that day. "I'm sorry."

"You have to remember. Set an alarm on your phone, or we can get you a watch with alarms or something."

"I have alarms set on my phone," Bella argued, grabbing her bag and digging out her phone. Sure enough she had the alarms set, but she hadn't heard them. "I'll do better."

"I'm still calling him."

"Fine." Bella gave in with a sigh. "He's not going to say anything different, Essie."

"I know, but rules are rules," she said, dumping the handful of pills into the palm of her hand. "Take them now."

Bella did as she was told, swallowing the pills with the last of her water. Esme didn't deserve the burden of having her for a sister, especially when Bella was slowly fading away.

 **Thank you for all the reviews. I know there are a lot of questions. We will get to the answers eventually**.


	4. Chapter 4

4

"He said to come straight to his office," Esme said, sliding her phone into her back pocket.

Bella stayed in the hospitality tent while Esme made the call. The last thing she wanted to do after humiliating herself in front of a hundred plus people was deal with yet another trip to her doctors, even if he was the closest thing she had to a brother. Carlisle Cullen was a great guy, but she was done with all of it.

"And not to argue, but of course, we both know that's a losing battle."

"Are you saying I'm difficult?" Bella asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, I'm saying you're damn stubborn and pigheaded."

"Gee, Essie, don't hold back. Tell me how you really feel," Bella said, dryly. She braced herself as she stood, but her legs were weak and she immediately dropped back into her chair. "Fuck, fuck, fuck."

"How do you want to do this, Swan?" Alice asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest. "We can carry you out. Or get a wheelchair."

"I don't think so," Bella scoffed and once again pushed herself out of the chair. Her knees buckled and she almost fell, but Felix was immediately at her side, draping his arm around her waist as he hoisted her upward. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." She could hear the fear in his voice, the uncertainty that always came when people she knew witnessed one of her episodes. "Why don't I help you to your car?"

"Yeah, okay."

Bella knew better than to argue with him. Esme wasn't going to let her get away with it and based on the smirk on Alice's face, neither was she. Just as they reached the opening for the hospitality tent, Jasper and Edward rushed inside, the first looking concerned while the latter looked annoyed. Bella groaned. She didn't want them seeing her weak and needy, though why their opinion of her mattered wasn't something she understood. They were volleyball guys; it was in their nature to be assholes.

"You okay, ma'am?" Jasper asked, his tone more southern than before.

"Yes," Bella said while Alice chimed in with a perky, "No, maybe one of you could help carry her to the car."

"Peanut," Bella hissed, but Jasper didn't hesitate to slide his arms under her knees and behind her back, swopping her off the ground. "Let me down!"

"Don't you dare listen to her!" Alice threatened as Jasper began to lower her back down. "If you know what's good for you, cowboy, you'll listen to me, not her."

Jasper's eyes widened as he looked from Alice to Bella. "Sorry, ma'am, but she scares me more than you do."

"Ugh, whatever," she groused. "And stop calling me ma'am. Makes me feel old."

"Sorry," he chuckled, but looked to Alice. "Lead the way, darlin."

Bella kept her arms tucked around her chest as Jasper carried her out of the tent after Alice. People stopped and gawked at her, clearly wondering why she was being carted around by one of the players. Like she hadn't been embarrassed enough, she thought bitterly.

Edward followed them, Alice, Felix, and Esme to Esme's car, though he didn't say a word. Every few steps Bella would chance a look at him and find him watching her. He'd look away the moment their eyes met, but he still watched her.

"Here let me get the door," Esme said, rushing to the passenger door of her Volkswagen Thing Convertible. It was neon orange with a black convertible top and Esme loved it, while Bella tolerated it. She preferred driving her Jeep.

"Don't drop me, cowboy," Bella threatened as Jasper lowered her into the seat. She adjusted her position so that she was more comfortable, hating the way her body was betraying her. "And thank you."

"You're welcome," he said with a crooked smile that somehow fit him perfectly. "Hope you feel better."

"Thanks," she whimpered, her eyes filling with tears. She wanted nothing more than to 'feel better.' It just wasn't in the cards for her.

Jasper shifted his eyes to Alice before grabbing the front of Edward's shirt and dragging him back toward the pit. Edward looked at her from over his shoulder, a look of concern and annoyance marred in his features. Not that she cared.

"Call me tonight, Swan," Alice ordered. "I'm serious. Don't text me, call. If you don't, I'll be beating your ass in the morning."

"I will, Peanut," Bella promised, pulling the car door closed and leaning against it. She stretched her arm out to her. "I love you. I don't tell you that enough."

"Oh, Swan," Alice murmured, taking hold of her hand. "I love you, too. Don't give up. Not yet."

Bella nodded, unable to verbally promise anything. It was a promise she couldn't make, not anymore. As Esme pulled out of her spot, Bella turned her attention away from Alice and Felix, who was questioning her over everything that had just gone down. Closing her eyes, Bella tried to remember when life didn't suck.

—BD&BH—

Esme managed to get Bella into the two-story medical complex and to the elevator. She venomously refused a wheelchair, which annoyed Esme, but Bella wasn't to that point yet. When the doors to the elevator opened, the receptionist rushed around the counter and helped them straight into the back and into one of the examination rooms. Bella had been there enough that they knew better than to make her wait. Carlisle would never stand for that, they told her.

"He's with another patient, but he should be here in just a few minutes," she said before closing the door behind her.

"These rooms are always so cold," Esme griped, sitting on the rolling stool and moving so that she was sitting at Bella's feet. "You're shaking."

"It's nothing," Bella muttered, balling her hands into fits to keep them from trembling.

Esme snorted, but didn't say anything else.

A few minutes later, the door to the room opened and Carlisle Cullen rushed inside, looking frazzled. Esme was immediately on her feet and in his arms, their lips meeting in a fiery kiss that had Bella gagging, especially when she them using tongue.

"Yo, patient in need over here," Bella groused, snapping her fingers in their direction. She couldn't blame Esme for her attraction to the good Dr. Carlisle Cullen. He was a handsome man with silky blond hair, blue eyes, and a body to die for. They'd been together for the better part of the last decade. Bella knew they'd be together forever, though they wouldn't marry. Bitter divorces and being raised by single parents had proven that marriage wasn't worth anything.

Carlisle smiled widely as he pulled his mouth away from her sister's. "Oh, sorry, Bella, didn't see you there."

"I'm more than happy to leave if you want," she quipped. "Not like I wanted to be here."

"Well, since you are, let's have a little discussion, shall we?"

Bella rolled her eyes. "Like you're really giving me a choice, Carlisle."

"Aw, don't be like that to me, Bella. I'm on your side, remember?"

She nodded.

Carlisle sat on the rolling stool and pushed backward so that he was leaning against the supply cabinet. "Tell me what happened today."

Bella sighed. "Everything was normal until it wasn't. I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe. It was like . . . I'd forgotten how, I guess. Normally I can feel it coming, but I didn't feel this one. It scared me, Carlisle. A lot. Peanut helped me regulate my breathing, which helped break through the episode, but I feel so drained. Really weak."

Carlisle nodded. "You forgot to take your meds at lunch."

"I don't remember hearing the alarms."

"Esme says you're covering the PV."

I tensed and nodded.

"What'd I tell you about stress?" Carlisle asked, standing up and washing his hands. He pulled a couple of paper towels out of the metal holder and dried his hands. "Look, I know you feel good. Or you did before today, but stress is going to make these flairs worse."

"I know, but I can't not work PV."

Carlisle hummed, but didn't say anything as he pulled out a penlight from his jacket pocket and shone it in her eyes. "Look up."

She did.

"Look to the right. Good. Now the left."

Bella followed his orders.

Carlisle stowed his penlight and brought his hands up to her neck, feeling her lymph nodes, like suddenly a case of tonsillitis was going to explain everything. He sat back down in front of her and pulled her leg up onto his.

"Are they sore?"

"No," she told him. "Weak, but they don't hurt. Kind of numb, I guess."

Carlisle nodded and moved his hands up her calves to her knees and then to her thighs. "Have you been doing your stretches?"

Bella sighed.

"Didn't think so," he scoffed.

"I don't have time for that yoga, meditation, centering my chi crap."

"That's what your father said and look where he is now," Carlisle quipped, but when Esme and Bella gasped, he coiled backward. "Sorry, that was mean."

"No shit," Bella snarled. "I'm doing the best I can. Do you think I asked for this? I'm only twenty-eight, Carlisle. I'm not supposed to be facing the end of my life as I know it!"

"You're right. I'm sorry. That was cruel." Carlisle wrapped his hands around Bella's. "I just don't want you to give up the fight like he did. There are other drugs combinations we can try."

"Drugs," Bella whimpered. "Therapies, meditation, yoga. Are you going to cure me, Carlisle? Are you going to keep me from wasting away?"

"I'm trying," he said, thickly.

"Me too," she wept, squeezing his hands as tightly as she could. "I just want to enjoy whatever time I have left. Is that so wrong?"

"No." Carlisle smiled as sincerely as he could as he stood up. "Double your lunch dose. I'll text Peanut and let her know to remind you to take it. If this happens again, call me immediately, okay?"

She nodded. "I promise."

Though still weak, Bella managed to get herself to the waiting room so Esme and Carlisle could have a few minutes alone. She wasn't stupid. She knew they were talking about her, about her health, about how to get her more time. Bella didn't want to think about it. She'd already spent too many night crying over the future she wasn't going to get.

Esme came out a five minutes later, her eyes red and puffy. They drove back to the house in silence. There wasn't any point in talking about her doctor's appointment or what this episode could possibly mean. They'd lived through it with their father.

"I'm going to order in for dinner, I think," Esme said as she parked next to their house. "Chinese or Italian?"

"Chinese," they said together, laughing.

"I'm going go down to the water for a bit," Bella said as she climbed out of the car. Catching the look on her sister's face, she quickly added, "I'll stay on dry land."

"I wasn't going to say anything."

Bella knew better, but didn't call Esme out on her lie. She was only trying to keep Bella safe. She had the hardest part in all of this. Not only had she lost her father, but now, she was losing her sister, too.

Bella settled in the sand at the edge of the water. The sun was just starting to set and the water had turned a dull orange. This had been her father's favorite part of the day. Twilight, he called it. When worries were carried away with the wind. But they weren't. Not really. They'd been sitting on this beach the first time he had an episode much like hers. And then the seizures robbed him of his mobility and his memory went, and then nothing.

"Hey."

Startled, Bella scrambled to her feet, surprised to find Edward standing fifteen feet behind her. "What are you doing here?"

"I saw you sitting here. Thought I'd say hello."

"No, I mean, what are you doing here? At my house?"

"Your friend Alice asked me to drive your Jeep back for you. Said you'd never forgive her if something happened to it."

"She's not wrong," Bella replied, coolly. "How'd she wrangle you into doing it? Don't you have beer to pour on some poor, unexpecting female?"

Edward smiled. "Nah, did that last night."

"You're a cocky, son-of-a-bitch," Bella mused. "But you already know that, don't you?"

"Yep," he said, swirling the spare key Bella had given to Alice around his index finger.

"I'll take the keys and then you can leave."

"Gotta wait for her and Whitlock. They're supposed to be picking me up. Though, it is taking them awhile."

"Well, you can wait somewhere else," Bella snarled, taking a step toward him, but her knees gave out on her and she crumbled into the sand. Edward was immediately next to her, his hands gripping her waist. She shifted her eyes up to his, noticing the way the green sparkled. "Thanks, I guess."

"You're welcome." Edward helped her back to her feet, but didn't release his hold on her hips. "You okay now? You seem very unsteady today."

"I'm fine."

"Hmm, if you say so," he said, his fingers tightening on her hips. "But I think you're lying."

"Why do you care how I am?" she asked. Her mind was telling her to push him away, reminding her of how he'd broken her camera lens, how he'd spilled his beer down her back, but her body was refusing to move.

"You intrigue me, Swan," he said. "I don't know why, but you do."

"Yeah?" she asked, biting the inside of her lip.

Edward nodded, his finger tightening even more.

"Then you should know," she whispered, leaning closer toward him. "You don't do a damn thing for me."

And pulling herself out of his embrace, Bella stumbled up the beach to the house, leaving him standing alone.

 **Thank you for all the reviews. I know you have more questions than answers, but they will come all in good time, my friends.**


	5. Chapter 5

5

Bella's body ached as she climbed out of bed the next morning, as it always did when she had one of her episodes, which were just as taxing on her physical health as they were on her mental health. Watching as her father suffered slowly, slipping further and further away until he was nothing haunted her every moment. She wasn't ready for that life, but it didn't seem she had much of a choice. Life had dealt her a cruel hand, snatching away dream after dream until she had no hope left.

After a hot shower that she had hoped would relieve the soreness, she dressed in blue and white bikini and a bright blue sundress. It was going to be hot today, which had her groaning The heat wouldn't help the exhaustion she felt. She pulled her long, brown hair into a messy bun on the top of her head and grabbed her favorite pair of sunglasses before leaving her bedroom. She was unsurprised, of course, to find Esme seated on the couch, already dressed for the day.

"Morning," Bella muttered as she bypassed her sister and walked into the kitchen, where she found the table covered in breakfast dishes with the remnants of a good meal left over. "I see Carlisle slept over. Surprised that he wasn't waiting for me. I'm sure you two have discussed my condition and have a whole new plan to manage my rapidly declining health."

"He got called away while you were in the shower. And excuse us for being concerned about you. Could be worse, you know? We could not care and let you waste away like Dad," Esme said, walking past her and opening the microwave, where she pulled out a plate with eggs, two slices each of bacon and sausage, and two slices of cold toast. "Here."

"Hmm, as good as that looks," Bella said, grimacing as the cold, stale looking food, "I think I'll just grab a cereal bar."

"You need more than that!" Esme whined, placing the plate on the counter. "How much sugar does that crap have? You need a balanced breakfast, Bella!"

Bella didn't reply as she pulled the last apple cinnamon bar out of the box. She tossed the empty box in the trash and tore open the package with her teeth, causing her sister to roll her eyes. "What?"

"Nothing," Esme lied, sucking her bottom lip between her teeth. "How are you feeling this morning?"

This time Bella lied when she said, "Super."

Esme hummed, but didn't call her out on her bullshit. They both knew she was lying; there just wasn't any point in rehashing the same argument they'd had a thousand times. Bella finished her cereal bar before grabbing a large bottle of water from the fridge. She placed it on the counter and opened the cabinet next to the fridge, sighing as she began to pull out her pills.

"I repacked your mid-day pills," Esme said as Bella started taking her meds. "And I set an extra alarm on your phone."

"Thanks," Bella murmured, swallowing down her last one. "I should get going."

"You mean we should get going."

Bella raised an eyebrow. "I do?"

Esme smiled and nodded. "I'm going with you today."

"Um, what about your job? Don't they need you?"

Esme owned a small used bookstore on the other side of Honolulu.

"Nah," Esme insisted. "Jess and Ty have the place under control."

"Essie," Bella murmured and shook her head.

"I'm going and that's final. Besides, I haven't taken a vacation in a year. Might as well get to ogle some hot, sweaty men while I take some time off."

"And what would the good doctor think about his woman ogling other men?" Bella teased, knowing it was useless to argue with Esme. She needed to feel useful, even if there was nothing she could do.

"Carlisle and I have an agreement: we can look, but not touch."

"That sounds healthy," Bella snickered.

"He knows I love him and only him and he know that if he stepped out on me, I'd cut his dick off."

Bella's eyes widened and she laughed. "Wow, psycho much?"

Esme shrugged her shoulders. "Just making sure the man knows that he belongs to me and only me."

"You scare me sometimes, Essie."

"I know."

Esme insisted on taking her car, even though Bella protested. It fell on deaf ears and seeing as Bella wasn't really feeling up to driving, that left her with little argument. Luckily, Alice had dropped off her equipment the night before so after a quick stop as her studio to exchange memory cards and replace a couple of her lens, they were ready to head to the tournament.

It was even more crowded than the day before, but Esme managed to find a parking spot just ten yards from the entrance. Bella suspected that Felix had more to do with that, but she wasn't going to complain. It was a miracle that he hadn't pulled the contract from under her considering her episode the day before.

Alice was waiting for them just inside the front gates with a drink carrier will three cups from their favorite smoothie shop.

"Good morning!" Alice cheered, way too chipper for Bella's taste. She held a strawberry smoothie out to Esme, who took with a quick, "thanks," and then held a green one to Bella. "Kiwi and green apple with lots of antioxidants and protein. Just what you need to start the day off on a good note."

Bella grimaced but too the drink. "Sounds disgusting."

"Drink it, Swan. You'll thank me later. Jasper has one of these every morning and he said they've changed his life."

"Jasper, huh? And just how much does Jasper know about me, Peanut?"

"Nothing," she grumbled. "I would never betray your confidence like that, Swan, but he was worried about you after yesterday. Told me about these drinks last night."

"Last night? You slept with him, didn't you, Peanut? You always were a slutty little tart."

Alice laughed. If anyone else had called her a slut, Alice would have been pissed, but she knew Bella wasn't serious. That's just the way the way they were with each other. Or they had been before Bella's life changed and her future crumbled away.

"I did not sleep with him. Give me some credit, Swan. I did just meet the man, but he's amazing and beautiful and . . ."

"And a volleyball player," Bella quipped, ignoring the scowl on Alice's face. "Surprised Felix wasn't waiting for me."

Alice frowned. "He was, but I told him to give you a few minutes. He's worried about you."

"I know."

"Come on." Alice placed her hand on Bella's elbow, but not too tight. Just enough pressure to nudge her forward. "First match is about to start. Jasper and Edward against some dicks from Oklahoma, who according to Jasper cheat like a couple of motherfuckers. His words, not mine."

Bella stifled her groan. The last person she wanted to see was Edward, not after the night before. She wasn't sure why he had her so riled up. He was just a guy, another volleyball player who thought he was God's gift to women, so why did she care that he had shown up at her house the night before? And why did she feel eager to watch him play again?

"You're being stupid, Swan," she muttered under her breath.

"What'd you say?" Esme asked, looking over her shoulder at her.

"Um, nothing." Bella smiled, but knew it was off.

Esme didn't push for more details, which Bella was grateful.

Jasper and Edward were seated on the far side of the pit. Like the day before, they were wearing red board shorts and black tank tops with their last names and the number one and two on the front. Edward was wearing a pair of dark sunglasses and had a towel wrapped around his neck. He laughed at something that Jasper said and shifted his attention in Bella's direction, a cocky smirk twisting at the corners of his lips.

"Swan!"

Bella groaned at the sound of Felix's voice calling out her name. She looked over her shoulder and found him battling the crowd as he raced toward her. She would have laughed, but the annoyed look on his face made it clear that nothing about their situation was funny. Sighing, Bella gave Alice a look and handed over her camera bag.

"So much for a few minutes," she groused.

"Are you going to tell him?" Alice asked and when Bella shook her head, she groaned. "And why not?"

"Because he'd treat me differently, Peanut, and you know it. It's bad enough that you have to take care of me. I don't need his pity, too."

"Or maybe he could be a friend, someone to just be there."

"It's not like he can save my life," Bella muttered.

Felix finally made it through the throng of people and rushed over to her. He raised his hand like he was going to grab her arm, but then thought better of it and let his hand fall to his hip. "What the hell is going on with you, Swan?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said.

Felix's eyes widened. "I'm talking about yesterday, about that . . . whatever the hell it was. You couldn't speak, or breathe, and then you could barely walk. What the hell happened?"

Bella pressed her lips together, her gaze automatically shifting to where Edward sat with Jasper. Instead of talking to his teammate, as he had just been doing, he was watching her with such an intensity that it took her breath away.

"Swan!" Felix growled, drawing her attention back to him.

"It's nothing you need to worry about," she snarled. "It's not going to affect my ability to do my job, so just don't worry about it."

Felix sighed and took a step to the side, his expression softening. "I'm worried about my friend, not the job. You . . . you scared the shit out of me, Swan. I've never seen you like that before."

"I'm sorry," she whimpered, struggling to keep the tears that burned the corners of her eyes from falling. She hated being emotional, especially in front of people.

"You can trust me," he said, quietly.

"It's not about trust," she told him, shifting her eyes up to his. "I don't want to tell you, because then . . ."

"Then what?" he pleaded.

"Every time you look at me, you'll see that I'm not the Swan you grew up with and I can't handle that," she said before she grabbed her camera bag from Alice and walked away, leaving Alice and Esme to deal with him.

She knew the point would come when people would learn the truth about her. She wouldn't be able to hide away from the public eye the way her father had. But for now, she just wanted to be normal.

"Hey, wait up," Edward called out, and when she looked over her shoulder, she saw him rushing across the pit toward her. He slid to a stop and smiled. "Where are you off to in such a hurry?"

"Just . . ." Bella shook her head, causing two tears to fall down her cheek.

"Hey, what's wrong?" he asked, reaching up and wiping them away before she could. The minute his hand touched her, she felt her heart beat harder in her chest. "You okay, Bella?"

"How'd you know my name?" she asked, taking a step backward.

"Alice," was all he said.

"Well, I didn't give you permission to use it, did I?"

Edward grinned widely. "Didn't ask, did I?"

"Ugh, _you_ are a prick," she groused.

"Maybe," he admitted. "But I'm the prick you're having dinner with tonight."

"Excuse me?" she asked, her eyebrow lifting. "I am _not_ going to dinner with you."

"Are you afraid?" Edward took a step toward her, causing Bella to automatically lean backward.

"No," she insisted, though she wasn't sure she was lying or telling the truth.

"Then you'll meet me at JJ's at eight."

"And if I don't?" she challenged.

Edward leaned close enough for their lips to almost touch. "I know where you live."

And with that said, Edward turned and walked away, leaving Bella standing there.

 **Thank you for all the reviews. I am blown away by the response this story has received so far. To the guest reviewer who asked if I reply to reviews, I try to, but I don't always have time. If you have a question, you can always PM me, or send me a message via FB. And to the Guest Reviewer who commented on the lack of Native Hawaiians, don't worry. Your message was received with care and grace. No offence here.**


	6. Chapter 6

6

"Here." Esme thrust a plastic bag in front of Bella's camera just as she snapped a picture of a member of one of the two female teams battling through a sudden death match. The two teams — from Russia and China — had split the first two sets evenly and were now battling to reach fifteen first.

"Goddamn it, Essie, you just ruined my shot," Bella snapped, grabbing the bag and placing it in the sand in front of her. Of course the moment had passed and she no longer had a shot. "Thanks for nothing."

"You're welcome," Esme laughed and settled in the sand next to her. "I got you a kale salad with almonds, cranberries, and a light vinaigrette."

"Ew," Bella groused as she opened the bag and pulled out a juicy cheeseburger and spicy curly fries from their favorite diner. "You're a bitch, Essie."

"I am, aren't I?" Esme smiled and pulled Bella's pills out of her bag. "I should have gotten you the salad, though, but then you wouldn't have eaten it and, well, don't tell Carlisle, okay?"

"My lips are sealed," she said, accepting the handful of pills and bottle of tea. "I'm surprised he isn't here today. I figured the two of you would be following me around like you did after he diagnosed my condition."

"He wanted to."

"But?"

"But he knew you'd be pissed. Believe it or not, Bella, he loves you. He's just trying to help."

Bella sighed. "I know, and I'm grateful. Really, I am, but this is hard enough without everyone walking on eggshells around me."

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say," she said, softly. "I know I'm annoying and overbearing, Bella, but . . . Well, I've lost Mom and Dad. I just don't want to lose you, too. You're symptoms are progressing so much faster than his did."

"You think I don't know that, Essie?" Bella whimpered, dropping her burger back into the bag. "Every day I wake up and the first thought I have is wondering if my legs are going to hurt, or if my hands are going to shake. Or maybe I won't be able to speak that day, or watch the sun set. When I get through a day without an episode, I'm thankful that I had one more prefect day. I don't want this life, Essie. I don't want to end up like him, but I am and every time I can't surf because my legs hurts, or I can't work because my hands shake too much, or I can't . . . I can't tell you how much I love you," she cried, "I'm reminded just how fragile my life is, just how much I'm losing."

"I love you, too," Esme whimpered. "Even when you're being a stubborn brat."

"Yeah, I'm stubborn one," Bella laughed through her tears. She leaned her head on Esme's shoulder. "Don't give up on me. Not yet, okay? I'm doing the best I can."

"I know you are." Esme kissed the top of Bella's head before standing up. "Eat. You know how your meds mess with your stomach if you take them without food."

"Okay, Essie."

And listening to her sister, Bella ate the burger and fries without complaint. It was important to Esme that Bella take care of herself, and right now, she'd give her sister anything she wanted if that meant another day with her.

—BD&BH—

"How's it going, Swan?" Felix asked, stopping next to her as she packed up her equipment for the day. She'd filled two memory cards with photos, but she wouldn't know how many were keepers until she got to her studio and could really look at them.

"Good," she said. "Got some great shots today."

Felix nodded. "And, um, you're feeling okay?"

Bella sighed, shifting her body so that she was facing him. "I'm fine, Felix. I promise."

"I've known you a long time, Swan. Long enough to know when you're full of shit and, honey, you're swimming in it."

"Ew, dude, that's nasty." Bella shuddered and picked up her bag, pulling it onto her shoulder. "What makes you think I owe you an explanation? I haven't seen you in eight years, and the last time, things didn't exactly end on a good note."

"I . . . I know, but . . ." Felix fidgeted from one foot to the other. "I'm worried about my friend."

"Yeah, you and everyone else," she quipped. "But don't, okay? I'm doing the best I can, so just don't make a big deal out of this."

"It's that bad?" he asked.

Bella nodded. "Pretty much the worst thing you can imagine short of death."

Felix's eyes widened, though he managed to keep from gasping.

"Look, I've gotta go. Essie's going to be pissed about waiting for me, so I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Felix nodded and stepped out of her way. She understood that he cared, but she was fed up with people who looked at her with pity in their eyes. Those closest to her—Carlisle and Alice—of course knew truth. They'd been with her and Esme while they watched their father slowly fade away. Alice was with Bella when she had her first episode and held her while she sobbed more times than she cared to count. All Bella wanted, though, was to enjoy what life she had left, no matter how short that time was.

Esme was waiting for her at her car, as Bella knew she would be. The look on her face was a mixture of irritation and relief that she was okay. "It's about damn time!"

"Sorry. Felix stopped me, started asking a bunch of questions," she said, climbing into the passenger seat.

"What'd you tell him?" Esme slid in behind the wheel and started the car, but didn't shift into drive.

"What do you think I told him? I said I was fine and not to worry about me."

"So, basically, you lied." She shifted into drive and pulled out into traffic. "I know you don't like people knowing, because in your twisted mind, they'll treat you differently."

"Twisted mind, huh? Nice choice of words, sis," Bella snarled, folding her arms in front of her.

"I didn't mean it like that," Esme assured her. "You won't be able to keep this from him for long, Bella. He's not a complete idiot."

"He'll feel sorry for me, Essie. I'll be poor little Swan: so sick, so fragile. I'll be just like him."

"Dad gave up, Bella. You haven't.

"Not yet, anyway." Bella blew out a heavy breath and turned toward her sister. "Why are you driving so fast? Got a hot date tonight?"

"Kind of," she said, blushing. "It's mine and Carlisle's anniversary of the first time we kissed."

"What? The anniversary of the first time you kissed and you spent the day at PV with me?" Bella teased. "Essie, you should have been getting your _thang_ on with him all day."

Esme laughed. "First of all, my _thang_? What are you twelve? And secondly, I plan on getting my _thang_ on with him all night tonight."

Bella pretended to gag. "That's gross."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Esme said, pulling up in her parking space. "Peanut offered to come stay with you tonight."

"I don't need a babysitter, Essie!" she exclaimed, throwing open the car door and attempting to climb out, but Esme grabbed her arm.

"I didn't mean it like that," she argued. "I just thought, given what happened yesterday, that you'd like to have someone here with you."

"Worried I'll burn the place to the ground?"

"No, more like that you'll go surfing, have a seizure, and drown," she snarled.

"I'm not stupid enough to go surfing the day after an episode."

"Yeah, well, he did," she groused and climbed out of the car, closing the door behind her.

"I'm not Dad, am I?"

"No, you're not, but you're just as pigheaded as him. Fine, you don't want her here, I'll text Peanut and tell her not to come, but you have to swear to me that you won't leave the house."

"Fine, whatever," Bella muttered.

"Look, I'm sorry if I'm overprotective, Bella, but at least I care enough to worry."

"You do, but I understand. I'll be a good girl. I promise."

—BD&BH—

Esme rushed out of the house two hours later, dressed to kill in a skimpy red dress that would make Carlisle ravish her the minute he saw her. She had texted Alice and told her not to come over, which prompted a long, drawn out exchange of texts between Alice and Bella about why her presence was not needed, why Bella was being a pain in Alice's ass, and a lot of teasing from Bella about how Alice was flirting incessantly with Jasper. Which she denied, of course. In the end, Bella won and would be spending the night curled up on the couch with Netflix to keep her company.

She'd just settled back onto the couch after making a bowl of popcorn when someone knocked on the front door. Sighing, Bella placed the bowl on the coffee table and scrambled to her feet, rushing over to the door. When she pulled it open, she groaned.

"What are you doing here?"

Edward laughed, a smirk tugging on his lips. "Told you, Bella. If you didn't meet me at JJs, I was coming here."

"What are you talking about?"

"This morning, on the beach, you were crying and I told you to meet me for dinner. Any of this ringing a bell?"

"Oh, yeah, um, right," she mumbled. She'd forgotten about Edward asking her to dinner. Or more like insisting that she meet him for dinner. Was this another symptom? Memory loss had been something she knew would happen at some point, but she'd hoped to be years from then. Or at least months. "I didn't think you were serious, though."

"I'm here, aren't I?" He held up two plastic bags from Uncle Phil's Pupu Bar & Grill. "I wasn't sure what you liked, so I grabbed a little of everything."

"You did, huh?" she asked, eyeing him closely. "Get any opah?"

"Sautéed and Crab-crusted." Once again, he smirked. "Are you going to let me in?"

"Well, since you brought food." Bella stepped backward, opening the door wider. "Leave your shoes by the door. My sister will pitch a bitch-fit if you track sand into the place."

"Okay," he laughed, sliding his shoes off and out of the way before walking into the house. He looked around. "Nice place."

"It's home," she said, closing the door behind him. "You bring drinks?"

"No."

"I've got tea and lemonade. Or water, I guess."

"Um, tea, I guess."

Bella nodded and walked into the kitchen. Releasing a heavy breath, she placed her hands on the edge of the counter and tried to remember talking with him that morning. Vaguely, almost like it was a dream, she could picture them standing on the beach, but had that been that morning?

"You need help?"

Bella startled and brought he hand up to her chest as she turned and faced him. "No, sorry. I . . . I'll be right there."

"Everything okay?" he asked, reaching for her hand, but pulling away when she took a step backward.

"Yeah," she murmured, unable to keep her voice from cracking. "Um, I'm fine. Have a seat. I'll be right in with our drinks."

"Okay, if you're sure," he said before turning and heading back into the living room.

Bella poured them each a glass of ice tea before grabbing two places, forks, and napkins. Edward was standing in the middle of the room with a picture of Bella and her father. Alice had taken it at Bella's birthday five years ago, the last birthday she had before their lives changed. He had his first episode not long after.

"This your dad?" Edward asked, holding up the picture.

Bella nodded.

"You look like him."

"Just what a girl wants to hear. How much she looks like a man."

Edward winced. "Yeah, sorry, I didn't think of it that way. Just meant that you have his eyes."

"I know what you meant," she said, quietly. "We have the same smile, too. And attitudes, according to my sister."

"She the one with you this morning?"

Bella nodded. "Esme." She placed their glasses on the table and held one of the plates out to him. "You can sit wherever you want, so . . ."

"Thanks."

He sat on the other send of the couch from her. They began dividing up the food. Edward hadn't been laying when he said he got a little of everything. Once she had her plate filled, Bella scooted into the corner of the couch, using one of the throw pillows as a table. She cut off a small piece of the crab-crusted opah and popped it into her mouth, moaning.

Edward laughed. "That good, huh?"

"Best opah on the island," she told him.

"Never been a big fish guy," he said.

"I was raised on fish."

"Part of growing up in Hawaii, I guess."

"Basically," Bella laughed.

"I saw a couple of surf boards outside. Those yours?"

Bella smiled. "One of them is. The other two belong to my sister and her boyfriend."

"So you can hang ten and catch the curl, or whatever the lingo is?" Edward asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yep," she said with a smirk. "Spent more time on the water as a little girl than I did on dry land."

"Maybe you could teach me."

Bella snorted. "I don't think so, player."

"Player?" he laughed. "You think I'm a player?"

"Oh, I know you are."

"Why do you say that?" he asked, placing his empty plate on the table and picking up his tea.

"You're kidding, right?"

Edward shook his head.

"First, it would be your cocky attitude. All players have one. Like they were put on earth to charm the pants — literally — off every female dumb enough to let them stick their dick in them. Second, it's the way you think you're charming."

"You don't think I'm charming?"

"Nope," she said, putting her own plate on the table. She hadn't eaten half of what she'd grabbed. "I think you're an asshole who sees bedding me as some kind of conquest. You think I'm just another dumb local girl, who will fall for your sexy smile and nice ass."

"So, you're saying I have a nice ass?" he chuckled.

"See!" Bella exclaimed. "That's what I'm talking about right there."

"Hey, you're the one who brought my ass into the conversation," he pointed out, sliding his finger around the edge of his glass. "And you're not a conquest to me."

"Yeah? Then what am I?" she asked.

Edward shifted his eyes up to hers and she was surprised by how serious and sincere he looked. "You just someone I want to get to know."

Bella sighed and shook her head as she stood up. She picked up their plates and turned to walk into the kitchen, but stopped when her hands began to tremble. Feeling the muscles in her body tense, she barely had time to turn and look at Edward before the plates slipped from her grip, crashing onto the floor.

"Whoa, you okay?" he asked, scrambling to his feet.

But Bella couldn't reply as she dropped to the floor, feeling her body flaying in the food that had spilled. In the distance, she could hear Edward calling out to her, but the darkness swept over her and took her away.

 **Thank you for all the reviews. Do me a solid and leave me one for this chapter, too.**


	7. Chapter 7

7

Bella whimpered as the darkness eased away from her and the pressure inside her head dissipated. Well, mostly. There was still a denseness surrounding her, but she didn't feel like she was being suffocated anymore.

Groaning, she attempted to move her legs, but they felt heavy and weak, like someone was sitting on them. She opened her eyes once, twice, a third time before she realized that she wasn't alone. Not only was Edward standing in the middle of her living room, but so was Jasper.

Alice was kneeling next to Bella; her tiny hands wrapped around Bella's wrists, and she knew why: she'd had a seizure and Alice wanted to make sure that nobody got hurt.

"Hey, you," Alice said, sighing. "You're okay. Just stay relaxed."

Bella shifted her eyes from Alice to Jasper and finally on Edward. A look of pure terror filled his features. His eyes were wide, his mouth contoured as if he were trying to hold back a scream. Humiliated and embarrassed, Bella tried to tell him to leave, but the words were stuck inside her head. A common aftereffect of one of her seizures. Frantic, Bella shifted her attention back to Alice, gesturing with her head toward Edward and Jasper.

"Hey, hey, hey, this isn't staying calm," Alice said, releasing her wrists, but taking hold of Bella's hands, bringing them up to her chest. "Slow, steady breaths, remember?"

But Bella couldn't relax, not when he was standing there gawking at her like she was a freak.

Alice sighed and shifted so that she was still holding Bella's hands, but her attention was on Edward and Jasper. "You two should go."

"What?" Edward asked, his eyes widening.

"Darlin, I don't think that's a good idea," Jasper fretted, his hand coming up to the back of his neck. "I mean, what if . . . whatever just happened, happens again?"

"It won't," Alice said, frowning. "I've got her now, and I'll make sure she's okay, so you can go ahead and leave. It's all good."

"Are you fucking mental?" Edward snarled, waving a hand in Bella's direction. "What the hell just happened?"

"It's complicated," Alice said.

"N. . . n . . . n . . .no!" Bella stammered, struggling to get any sound out.

Alice turned her attention back to her, tightening her grip on Bella's hands. "Shh, Swan, calm down. I'm not going to tell them, but if you don't calm the hell down and start taking some deep breathes, I'm going to take a fucking ad in the paper and tell everyone about the time you thought you had a penis."

Bella's eyes widened, but she did as she was told and tried to relax her body, knowing that a) Alice would take out an ad, and b) the more she relaxed, the faster she'd be able to move.

"That's my little Swan." Alice released Bella's hands and stood up, facing Edward and Jasper. "Look, we appreciate the concern, and we know how screwed up this is, but I cannot tell you anything, not if she doesn't want me to, and it's clear that she's not ready. So, just go, okay? Her sister and doctor are on their way. She'll be . . . okay."

"Whatever," Edward muttered, giving Bella a look before storming out of the house. For a reason that Bella couldn't explain, it hurt to watch him walk away from her.

"Okay, Darlin, if you're sure," Jasper drawled. "Call me if you need me."

"I will."

Jasper followed Edward out of the house and Alice turned her attention back down to Bella, who just realized she was still laying in the middle of the floor.

"Well, this is awkward," Alice said, kneeling next to Bella again. She slipped her arm between Bella and the floor, hoisting her upward so that she was sitting. "You and Edward, huh? Here I thought you hated him."

"I . . . do," she stammered, trying to get her arms to move so she could support herself, but they were still too stiff.

"Liar," Alice snickered, but when the door to the house opened and Esme and Carlisle rushed inside, she became serious again. "It was a bad one. She seized for at least five minutes this time."

"Okay, let's get her off the floor," Carlisle said, squatting next to Bella and sliding his arms under her legs and around her back. "Hold on, Bella."

He lifted her off the floor and carried her to the couch, laying her down. Then, he knelt next to her and pulled her eyelids upward. "Look to your left."

Bella did as she was told.

"Right."

Again, she looked in the other direction.

"Can you feel your legs yet?"

Bella nodded. "But they feel heavy."

"They always do."

"I took my meds," Bella whimpered. "Just like I was supposed to. I was good today. I took my meds, Carlisle."

Carlisle frowned and shifted so that he was sitting on the edge of the couch. "You know drug therapy will only does so much, Bella. As your symptoms progress, the meds become less effective."

Bella's lips trembled and tears sprinkled down her face. "It's not fair."

"No, no, it's not," he agreed. "Let's get your muscles loose before you get too sore."

—BD&BH—

Bella sat in a white, wicker chair on her front porch. It was barely six o'clock in the morning, yet Bella had been up for hours. She hadn't been able to sleep. Her body ached too much, and her nerves felt like they were on fire. So instead, she sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, her camera resting on her knee as she attempted to snap a picture of a huge wave, but when her hand twitched, she swore, "Fuck."

The muscles in her arms were still recovering from the seizure the night before, like they always did. Just once, Bella had hoped they wouldn't. She hoped a lot of things that would never happen. Hope was just another four-letter curse word in her opinion. The worst of all of them.

"Bella?" Esme called, stepping out on the porch a moment later. "I'm going to make a smoothie. Do you want one?"

"No, thanks," she said, quietly.

Esme sighed and sat in the chair next to her. "How are you feeling?"

"How am I supposed to be feeling? Everything hurts. I still can't move my left foot much, and my hands are shaking like I just robbed the Kiwi Hut."

Esme smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "I shouldn't have gone out. I knew it was coming. After the last couple days, I saw the signs."

"You can't put your life on hold because of me, Essie," Bella said, sadly.

"You needed me," she cried, grabbing Bella's free hand. "I'm not ready to lose you, too."

"I'm not ready to be lost," Bella sobbed, letting her camera fall between her legs and her body. "I'm scared, Essie. Like for real, shit's going down kind of scared."

"Me, too."

Esme's attention was pulled away when her phone rang inside the house. As she hurried inside, Bella propped her camera back up on her knee and once more tried to take a picture, but again, her hand twitched. This time, however, the camera slipped from her grip and fell onto the porch.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," she muttered, dropping her feet from the edge of the chair. She stopped, however, when she spotted Edward walking up the pathway from the driveway to the porch. "What are you doing here?"

"Want the truth? Or should I lie to you the way you've been lying to me?" he asked, nearly skipping up the steps. He bent over and picked up her camera, but didn't give it back to her. "You owe me an explanation."

"Owe you? I don't owe you anything, Edward," Bella snarled, and reached for her camera, but he pulled it away from him. "Give it to me!"

"I will after you tell me what the hell is going on with you."

"I don't have time for this." Bella managed to stand, though her legs felt like she had lead weights wrapped around them. Placing her hand on the wall, she scooted past him, using the wall as leverage to keep from falling on her face. Edward wrapped his arm around her, pulling her against him as he opened the door with his other hand and nearly dragged her inside.

"What in the ever-loving fuck?" Esme gasped. "Gotta go, babe. Shit's going down here."

She ended her call to Carlisle and shifted her attention from Edward to Bella and back before asking, "Everything okay, Bella?"

"Make him leave," Bella gritted through clenched teeth and tried to push him away, but Edward tightened his arm around her and helped her over to the couch. "Please, just give me my camera and leave."

"No," he said, but he placed the camera on the coffee table. Sitting next to her on the couch, he reached for her hand. Bella was too slow to pull away and he wrapped his fingers around hers. "You're trembling."

"I know," Bella murmured, closing her eyes. "Why are you here? Just want to get the scoop so you can go tell all your friends about me? About how I'm a freak?"

"No," he denied. "I'm here because last night you had a fucking seizure right in front of me and the other day, you couldn't speak. I'm here, Bella, because I'm worried."

"But why? Why do you care?" she asked. "I'm nothing to you."

"I . . ." Edward shook his head. "I don't know why, but I do. And you're not nothing. You can trust me."

"Trust you," Bella murmured. "You want to know? You really want to know?"

"Yes," he said, quietly.

"Have you ever heard of Kufs Disease?"

"No."

"I'm not surprised. It's not one of the cool diseases," she quipped. "It's also known as adult neuronal ceroid lipofuscinosis. It's a rare disorder that effects my nervous system. There are two types. I have type A."

"And it's what caused your seizure?"

Bella nodded. "Seizures, muscle weakness, spasms, tremors, speech, dementia—I get all the fun shit."

"Is it . . . Are you going to . . ." Edward once again trailed off, huffing out a deep breath.

"Is it going to kill me?"

He nodded.

"Eventually," Bella told him. "They say ten years, but my symptoms are progressing faster than normal, so I'll be lucky if I get five at the rate I'm declining."

"And there's no cure? Nothing they can do?"

"Fraid not. I take meds to control the seizures, to help with the muscle spasms, but in the end, there's nothing to be done. I'm just going to die."

"How can you be so glib about this?" Edward asked. "This is your life and you're fucking acting like you have a common cold. How can you be so calm?"

Esme snorted. "She wasn't a year ago."

Bella glared at her. "Yeah, well, whatever."

"Don't listen to her, Edward. She cried like a two year old. Really ugly crying, too. Snot bubbles and all."

"Essie," Bella hissed. "Get out of here."

Esme laughed, but left Edward, who didn't appear to find their banter funny, and Bella alone.

Sighing, Bella pulled her hand from between his. "Let me guess: WebMD suggested ALS or MS or Epilepsy?"

"Yeah," he admitted, sheepishly.

"That's what we thought, too, when our father started showing symptoms."

"Your dad?" he asked.

Bella nodded. "He started showing symptoms five years ago, give or take a few months. At first, we thought it was just his age. His legs hurt, his joints. Arthritis or something, but then he started having tremors in his hands. He'd start a conversation and in the middle just stop talking. Like he couldn't speak anymore. We begged him to go to the doctor, but he kept insisting that he was okay, that he fine, but then he had his first seizure. By the time they got the right diagnosis, he . . ." Bella shook her head. "He was this fragile, weak man who could barely wipe his own ass anymore."

"And, um, he's gone?"

Bella frowned. "A year ago. Guess he got tired of it all and decided to go surfing. He could barely walk across the room, but thought he could handle a board. He barely made it thirty yards from shore when he had a seizure. By the time we got to him, his lungs were already filled with water."

"I'm sorry. I can't imagine how much that sucks."

"He was an amazing man. He just gave up in the end. Can't say I blame him, either. This life we're forced to live . . . it's a nightmare, to be honest. One we don't get to wake up from."

Esme walked into the room, clearing her throat. "Sorry to interrupt, Bella, but Peanut wants to know what she should tell Felix."

"Don't tell him anything," she said, placing her hand on Edward's shoulder and pushing herself to her feet. "I'll be there before the first match."

"You can't be serious," Esme exclaimed. "After last night, the last thing you need to do is spend all day on your feet."

"I have to, Essie. We have a contract."

"Fuck the contract. The little bastard can spot you a day to rest."

Bella clamped her lips together before looking down at Edward. "Can you excuse us?"

"Um, sure," he mumbled, but when he moved to stand, Esme clamped her hand down on his shoulder and said, "Don't be silly. You can stay. You're in the know, so to speak."

"Essie," Bella sighed.

"Don't Essie me, Bella," she argued. "Peanut can cover for you today, but you need to rest, stay relaxed, and let your body recover."

"You're not going to bend on this, are you?"

"Nope," she said with a smirk. "Sit your ass down. I'll make you a strawberry and banana smoothie and you can binge watch more Supernatural on Netflix."

"Fine, whatever," Bella grumbled and sat back down on the couch. "You're obsessed with smoothies, by the way. It ain't natural!"

"Whatever you say, sis." Esme yelled back.

Edward stood up and pulled his phone out of his pocket. His fingers flew across the screen as he sent a message to someone. Then, he kicked off his shoes and sat back down on the couch, getting comfortable before reaching for the remote control.

"What are you doing?" she asked. "Don't you have a match today?"

"Nope," he said. "Supposed to run with Whitlock and then practice serves for a bit, but unfortunately I'm sick, so it looks like I get to watch Supernatural, too."

"Don't do this for me."

"I'm not," he said. "I'm doing this because I'd like to get to know you better, Bella. If you'll let me."

Bella shook her head, but shifted on the couch, so that she was leaning against him. "Hope you like the Winchester brothers."

Edward laughed. "Who doesn't?"

Bella had taken a huge risk by confiding in Edward. She hoped it wasn't a risk she would end up regretting tomorrow.

 **Thank you for all the reviews. I'll admit to getting a bit emotional with this one.**


	8. Chapter 8

8

"Does it make me gay if I admit that I find Dean mildly attractive?" Edward asked, causing Bella to laugh.

They'd spent several hours watching Supernatural and were now halfway through season six. Esme had flittered in and out of the room, but had left the two alone half an hour ago so she could run to the pharmacy and get Bella's medication refilled.

Edward sighed. "That's a yes."

"Explains a lot about you, actually."

"How?"

Bella snorted. "Never mind."

"You think I'm gay?"

"Can we get back to this episode, please?" Bella reached for the remote control to turn the volume up, but Edward pulled it away from her. "Dude, come on. Don't be a dick."

"You think I'm gay."

"No, I do not think you are gay," she said, smiling.

"Then what did you mean before?"

"I was just teasing you," she said. "Trust me. Nobody would mistake _you_ for a gay guy."

"Why not?" he asked. "I'm hot, Bella. I've seen the way men look at me. They undress me with their eyes and they always look at my crotch in case I'm sporting wood."

" _You_ think you're hot," she quipped. "But you come off as the typical male volleyball player, Edward. Trust me, nobody thinks you're gay."

"Typical volleyball player?" Sounding genuinely hurt, he placed the remote on the couch between them. "Typical volleyball player."

"I hurt your feelings, didn't I?"

"No," he lied. "Just didn't realize I was that big of a prick, I guess."

"The first time we met, you knocked me to the ground and instead of apologizing, you were rude and told me I should watch where I'm going," she told him. "The second time we met, you spilled beer down the back of my shirt and then called me a bitch."

Edward opened his mouth to respond, but Bella kept speaking.

"The third time we met, you said you hadn't had the pleasure of fucking my ass, but would love the opportunity to take me for a spin."

Edward frowned but didn't say anything.

Bella reached for the remote, but stopped when Edward grabbed her hand, drawing her attention back up to him. "Why are you here?"

"I told you why."

"No, I know what you said. But why'd you come over last night? Why'd you insist on dinner?"

Edward shrugged. "You seem interesting."

"Oh, please," she scoffed and pulled her hand away from his.

"It's the truth!"

"No, it's not," she disagreed. "I'm not 'interesting.' I'm a challenge, a conquest. The angry, bitter local girl with a clear hatred of ballers. You thought you could charm your way into my bed. I'd be your greatest conquest… at least until you found someone else to woo. But now you know that I'm sick, that I'm going to die, and you feel guilty for wanting to fuck me. You feel pity for the poor, pathetic local girl who has never seen someone as hot as you."

"Wow," Edward murmured, leaning forward so that his elbows rested on his knees and his hands were clasped together. "You just have me figured out, don't you?"

"I've seen a hundred of you infiltrate the island. You love and leave any girl stupid enough to believe that you love her."

"Including you?" he asked.

Bella shrugged her shoulders. "I won't deny that I've been charmed by more than one player, but I wasn't naïve enough to believe they'd take me with them when they moved on and they always moved on. Besides, I had a good life."

"Had? Or have?" he asked. "You speak like you're already . . ."

"Dead. Like I am already dead," she said.

Edward nodded.

Bella reached up and pushed her hair behind her ear. Slowly throughout the day, the trembling in her hands had eased and was barely noticeable. "I never understood how my father could give up on life until I found myself facing the same end as him. I knew from the moment I had my first episode that my life was over, that I was going to die. I hated him for giving up, but . . . but now, I don't see any reason to keep living."

Edward's mouth opened, but before he could say anything, the door to the bungalow opened and Alice waltz in with Jasper right behind her. Bella fell back against the couch, inhaling a sharp breath as she turned her attention away from Edward, shifting it to Alice instead.

"How'd it go today, Peanut?"

"Just peachy," Alice replied, almost skipping around the couch and sitting on the bed of the coffee table and held a touch screen tablet out to her. "I uploaded the photos I took so you could glance at them."

"Thank you," Bella murmured and accepted the tablet. Pressing the home screen, the first of the photographs appeared. It was of one of the female players, but her hair was in face and the shot was blurry. As Bella scrolled through each one, she found herself biting the inside of her lip. They weren't bad, just not great. "Not bad."

"Oh, please, Swan, they're shit," Alice cackled and tanked the tablet away and set it on the table behind her. "I put the memory card with the others and loaded your bag with new ones for tomorrow. You will be back tomorrow, won't you?"

Bella nodded. "What'd Felix say this morning?"

"Nothing," she lied.

"Peanut."

"Nothing!" she said again. "He just kind gave me this look, like he knew something was up, but didn't want to ask."

"Oh." Bella shifted her eyes to Jasper, who was standing in the doorway. "Are you going to just stand there, Cowboy? My sister is going to be pissed if you leave that door open much longer."

Jasper gave her a shy smile as he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. "Sorry."

"Don't be," Bella murmured. "I'd offer you a drink, but my sister has banished me to the couch for the day. Something about me needing my rest."

Jasper frowned. "I'm fine, ma'am."

"Ugh, again with that ma'am bullshit," Bella grumbled smiling. "It's Bella, or Swan if you listen to Peanut."

"Why does she call you Peanut?" Edward asked Alice, causing Bella to burst out laughing.

"Don't you dare, Swan," Alice threatened, standing with her hands on her hips. "Or else."

"Or else what?" Bella challenged still laughing. "I ain't got nothing more to hide."

Understanding washed over Alice as she shifted her eyes from Bella to Edward and back. "You told him?"

Bella nodded softly.

"Oh, Swan," Alice whimpered, sitting on the coffee table and reaching for Bella's hands. "Are you okay?"

"No," she admitted, pulling her hands back onto her lap.

Alice sighed and looked over at Edward. "You made her tell you."

It wasn't a question, but an accusation. One Edward didn't deny.

"Oh, you —"

But the door opened again before Alice could unleash her tirade of four letters words onto Edward. Esme paused in the doorway, her eyes flittering from Alice to Jasper to Edward and finally landing on Bella.

"Baby, move your ass before I spank it," Carlisle said, coming up behind her and wrapping his arms around her waist. It was then that he saw the room full of people. His face turned bright red and he muttered, "Shit."

"Dude, never would have taken you for the spanking type," Bella snickered, pushing herself up from the couch. Edward automatically reached for her, but she stepped away from him. "Figured you were the one getting spanked."

"He is," Esme said, smiling widely. "Loves it, too. Begs for it. Gets him nice and hard, if you know what I mean."

"I do not!" Carlisle insisted, though Bella didn't believe him. He looked like the kinky type. His eyes shifted to Edward and Jasper before he asked, "How are you feeling?"

"Tired," she said, holding her hands out in front of her. "But my hands aren't trembling anymore and my legs don't hurt as much. More of a tingle now than an ache."

"Well, that's something, I guess," he said, gesturing for her to walk to him, which she did. "Still limping a little, but that's not unsurprising with your knee."

Bella hummed as he pulled out his pen light.

"Look up," he ordered and she did. "Right. Good. Left. Down."

Bella followed his ordered without complaining. Whining wouldn't do any good with him. He loved her like a sister and was working his ass off to save her life, even if it was a futile effort.

"Well, you seem okay," he said, quietly. "Don't miss any of your meds, though. Maybe this was just a reaction to missing your lunch dose a few days ago. Just try not to stress too much."

Bella snorted. "Yeah, okay, doc."

Feeling everyone's eyes on her, Bella muttered under her breath about needing the bathroom and left them standing there awkwardly. She leaned against the vanity and turned on the water in the sink. She shifted her eyes up to the mirror, staring at her reflection. On the outside, she appeared normal. Or at least, she thought she did. But inside, she was falling apart. Her foundation was being splintered like cracks in a mirror and sooner, rather than later, she was going to shatter.

"Swan, you okay?" Alice called out before knocking on the bathroom door.

Sighing, Bella turned off the water and reached for the doorknob, but before she could grasp it, the door was pushed open and a frantic Alice nearly leapt into the room. "Jesus fuck, Peanut, what if I'd been taking a shit?"

"Eww, Swan!" Alice gagged. "Why didn't you answer me?"

"You didn't give me a chance," Bella laughed. "You came barging in here like a banshee."

"Whatever," Alice muttered, folding her arms in front of her.

"Um, are you going to move out from in front of the doorway?"

"No," she said. "You told Edward."

"Yeah . . . and this is a big deal because . . .?"

"You don't tell anyone," Alice said, dropping her arms to her sides. "Why'd you tell him?"

Bella inhaled a sharp breath and shook her head. "I honestly don't know. He showed up early this morning, demanding answers. I tried to push him away, tried to . . . I don't know . . . He refused to leave unless I told him, so . . . I did."

"And?" Alice pressed. "What did he say?"

"He asked me to marry him. We're planning a nice little ceremony down on the beach. I'm thinking I can just wear my white bikini," Bella rambled, smiling as Alice's eyes grew and her face turned red.

"He what? You said yes?" she whispered-yelled. "Are you fucking insane, Swan?"

"No," Bella laughed. "But clearly you are if you think I'd really marry some dude I just met. I'm not that desperate."

"Oh, you stupid bitch," Alice giggled. "Seriously, what'd he say when you told him about the Kuf's?"

"He asked what everyone will ask," she said, quietly. "And then he got this sad look in his eyes and . . . Well, let's just say he didn't disappoint in the pity department."

"But he stayed, didn't he?"

Bella nodded. "I just don't know why."

"Does that really matter?" she asked. "He didn't have to stay, Bella. He could have left you alone, could write you off as just some chick he met a couple times, but he's not. He's here and that says a lot."

"Says a lot?" Bella argued. "What does it say? It's not like he wants to date me, Alice."

"How do you know he doesn't?" she challenged. "Maybe he likes you."

"Why would he? It's not like we can have a real future together. I'm going to keep getting worse until the day comes that I can't walk or talk or even take a shit like a normal person. Why would anyone sign up for this life?"

Alice shrugged her shoulders. "Because you're worth it."

Turning, she walked out of the bathroom, leaving Bella alone again. With a shake of her head, Bella followed. She disagreed with Alice, of course. She wasn't worth the time her family devoted to her. She hated that Alice hadn't found the love of her life, that Esme spent more time worrying about Bella's health than being with Carlisle, or that Carlisle knew Bella came first when it came to Esme. She hated being the burden her father had been to her. And she really hated that a part of her — albeit a small part — wanted Alice to be right about Edward's feelings for her.

 **Thank you for all the reviews.**


	9. Chapter 9

9

"Bella? Bella? Bella, are you listening to me?"

"Of course I am," she lied and shifted her attention over to her sister, who was sitting behind the wheel of her 'Thing' Convertible. They'd just gotten into the car, but Esme had yet to make any effort to actually leave for the beach. "You think I should stay home, back out of the tournament, breach the contract I signed, and tell Felix to fuck himself in the ass if he doesn't like it."

"Well, not the fucking himself in the ass part, but the rest, yes," Esme groused.

"Essie, I can't . . . No, I won't do that. My reputation is on the line."

"But maybe it's time to, I don't know, retire."

"You mean give up? Quit and spend the rest of my very limited life at home on the couch with only the Winchester Brothers to keep me company."

"Maybe it's time for you to focus on your health, not your career. That doesn't mean you can't so things, Bella, but the stress that these jobs puts on your body . . . Is it really worth it? Not like I can't support the two of us."

Bella huffed. "It's not about the money, Essie. It's about having something to live for. My photography may not mean much to you, but it's all I have right now. Don't ask me to give it up."

"Fine, okay, I'm sorry for bringing it up." Esme started the car and shifted into reverse. "Just promise that you'll take it easy today."

"I will." Though, that wasn't a promise she knew she could keep. Her body was no longer under her control.

The parking lots were already filled and most of the streets were bumper to bumper by the time Esme and Bella arrived. Eventually, Esme dropped Bella off at the front and said she'd catch up. Bella suspected that she was calling to check in with Carlisle, who'd left before Bella got up again. Alice and Felix were waiting for her at the entrance, the later with a grimace of annoyance that Bella suspected had less to do with the tournament and more to do with the secret Bella was keeping from him. Logically, she knew she should tell him. The more support the better, but it was hard to admit your weakness.

"I know, I know," Bella said to Felix, putting her hands up before taking the green smoothie Alice had practically thrust in her hands. "I'm late, and I'm sorry about missing yesterday, too, but Peanut got some great shots, so we're good."

"Are you feeling better?" Felix asked, his eyes narrowing just slightly.

"No," she admitted. It wasn't worth keeping up the charade, even if she wasn't prepared to bare her soul to him right then. "But I can at least function today, so we call it a win."

"Swan," he murmured, shaking his head. "If you need anything, I'm there. Understand?"

Bella nodded and watched in silence as he walked away. He meant it. He didn't know what was going on, or just how serious her failing health was, but he would do anything in his power for her, and that meant a lot. That was the Felix that she'd known as a young girl. If anything good came out of this tournament, maybe — just maybe — it would be regaining a friendship long forgotten.

"Well, come on, Swan," Alice chirped, gripping her elbow and pulling her toward the entrance to the pits. "Jasper's up in the first match and I don't want to miss a second of that action."

Bella laughed. "Okay, Peanut, let's go ogle your man."

Alice didn't refute that Jasper was hers, which shocked Bella. While her bestie had always had an attraction toward good-looking men, she wasn't the kind of girl to get attached after just a few days. Yet, Jasper seemed to be different. Not that Bella really knew him. A few meetings and a polite smile didn't really tell her much about him, or Edward for that matter. Though, she found herself more comfortable with them than she had with anything in a long time.

Jasper and Edward were already on their side of the net, passing the ball back and forth to each other. Jasper noticed them first and smiled at Alice, but the ball he had just passed to Edward came back at him quicker than expected and hit him directly in the face.

"Son of a bitch, that looked painful," Alice cringed, tightening her grip on Bella's elbow.

Edward threw his hands in the air with frustration and rushed to his partner, who was holding his nose between two fingers while using his other hand to gesture toward her and Alice. Edward's attention then shifted to Bella. Though she wanted to stop herself, her heart beat faster, especially when he gave her a cheeky, crooked smile. Feelings for Edward weren't going to make dying any easier.

"You're blushing, Swan," Alice accused.

"No, I'm not," she argued, unable to tear her attention away from Edward. "It's just hot out here."

"Whatever," she scoffed, but turned to the side of the pit as Edward and Jasper strolled up to him. "You all right, Cowboy?"

"Yes, ma'am," he drawled. "Nothing like a ball to the face to clear out the sinuses. Wait, I didn't mean that the way it sounded."

"Sure, you didn't, dude," Edward snickered before shifting his eyes to Bella. "Hey."

"Hey," she murmured, sucking the inside of her bottom lip in between her teeth.

"You feeling okay?"

"I'm great," she lied. To be honest, her legs hurt, her hands were still weak, and she had a headache. "How about you?"

Before Edward could reply, a ball came flying from behind him, smacking him directly in the middle of his back. Edward cursed under his breath and spun around, kicking sand up in the process. "Newton," he said with a sneer.

"S'up, Mason," Mike Newton crooned, tilting his head back and smirking, like a dumb teenager who thought he was everything a girl could ever want. He wore his blond hair in gelled spikes that reminded her of the jocks she went to high school with a decade ago, the same ones who were still going to high school parties because it made them feel young again. He shifted his attention from Edward to Bella, his smirk growing even more annoying. "Who's the hottie?"

"Nobody you need to be looking at," Edward spat, folding his arms in front of him protectively.

Bella snorted, drawing everyone's attention to her.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm nobody he needs to be looking at?" she countered with a raised eyebrow. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

"I'm—"

But she didn't give him a chance to defend himself before she turned her attention to Mike Newton. "And you might want to focus more on your game than trying to sex me up with your eyes. Your serve is weak and your spike reminds me of a ten-year-old girls."

"Who the fuck do you think you are? Stupid, fucking cunt," Mike sputtered.

"You motherfucking, asshole." Bella expected the sling of curse words to come from Edward, which was why it shocked her when Jasper let out the four-letting words. He lunged for Mike, but Alice quickly moved in front of him, placing her hands on his chest. "Darlin, move out of the way."

"No way, Cowboy. You'll get disqualified from the tournament," she said, and then she turned and glared at Mike, who was laughing. "Mosey on away, loser. Nobody here gives a flying fuck what you think."

"Whatever, shorty," Mike laughed, but winked at Bella before he ran over to his bench, where his partner — a tall, dark haired man named Tyler Crowley — sat scowling at his partner.

"What a dick," Alice quipped, and turned back to face Jasper. "Do me a favor, Cowboy, and knock his ass out of the tournament?"

A loss wouldn't automatically knock Newton and Crowley out of the tournament, but it would drop them into the bottom bracket, which meant they'd have to win every match they played from that point on to have a chance at the title.

"With pleasure, ma'am," Jasper chuckled, leaning down and placing a kiss against her cheek. "Let's go, Edward. We've got work to do."

"Yeah, okay," Edward muttered, looking over at Bella once more before following Jasper.

"Oh, Swan," Alice murmured, shaking her head. "Things are getting interesting."

Esme ran up to them, huffing and puffing as she struggled to take in a deep breath. "What I'd miss?"

"Nothing," Bella lamented.

"Just a pissing contest between Edward and that spiky-haired prick over there," Alice said, pointing to Newton, "over our dear, sweet Swan."

"No, there wasn't," Bella insisted, turning to Esme. "It was nothing, but boys being stupid."

"Over you?" Esme smirked. "Oh, sis, you sure do know how to attract them, don't you?"

Bella groaned, but didn't say anything. Her track record with men hadn't been great, or horrible. She'd dated a handful of guys over the last ten years, but nobody that mattered. Most of the time the relationship fizzled out before they got to sex, and the few that lasted longer than that — so to speak — didn't leave much of an impression. When Charlie got sick, Bella stopped dating altogether and focused her attention on him. She never imagined that she would be dealing with the same twisted life.

"If you two are done, I've got work to do."

And with that, Bella left them standing there laughing, while she moved into position to get the best shots of the game. A few minutes later, the line official called for the first set of the match to start. Edward twirled the ball on the palm of his hand as he stood at the back of the pit, preparing to serve. Jasper was up close to the net, his hands behind his back.

Bella brought her camera up to her eye and snapped a picture of Edward just as he threw the ball into the air, jumping at the same time. The ball flew over the net landing a foot in front of Newton, who stood there with his hands on his knees and stunned looked on his face.

"Damn, if that wasn't a shade, I don't know what is," Bella murmured, zooming in on Edward and snapping another shot. "I'm in so much shit."

Edward followed his ace with another power serve to Newton, who managed to get his hands under it and set it up for Crowley to lob it over the net. However, Jasper was prepared and blocked the lob, sending the ball back at Newton with more power than Bella had ever seen him use in a game. It was clear they were sending a message: Bella was off limits.

"Damn, boys," she murmured, taking another series of shots as Edward served once more.

Newton and Crowley struggled in the first set to get anything flowing. Newton was taking his anger out on his partner, who was doing everything he could to keep then in the match. Edward and Jasper worked flawlessly. They communicated and almost seemed to be able to read each other's thoughts. They took the first set 21-10. Newton and Crowley came back in the second set with more fire, but in the end, it was still a shutout when Edward sent a fiery ace over the net and over Newton's head to seal the 21-17 win.

Bella slipped away while everyone was congratulating Edward and Jasper on their victory. She couldn't explain the anxiety she felt when it came to Edward, why she wanted to be around him, yet at the same time, she wanted to keep her distance. It wasn't like they really knew each other. A few horrible confrontations, followed by an awkward dinner and a day lusting over Dean and Sam Winchester. Yet, she couldn't deny that she felt something for him, but what? And why now? Why when she was at the end of her life, would she meet him? It was cruel and mean and she hated that she cared.

She was halfway to the hospitality tent, when someone grabbed her arm and pulled her to a stop. She spun around and found Edward behind her. "Where are you going in such a hurry?"

"Um, nowhere," she lied. "I mean, obviously I was going somewhere, but . . . Shit." She blew out a heavy breath. "I was getting a water. It's hot out here."

"Hot, huh?" He chuckled. "Thought maybe you were trying to get away from me."

"And why would I need to do that?" she asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"Because you like me."

"I do, huh?" Bella shook her head. "Man, the size of your ego. I'm surprised you can keep your head up with such confidence."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"It wasn't one," she quipped and tried to turn, but Edward pulled on her arm once more. "What do you want?"

"This."

And when she turned back to him, Edward slipped his other arm around her waist, brought his hand from her arm up to her chin, tiling her head backward. Before she could stop him, he leaned down and kissed her.

 **Thank you, thank you, thank you for all the reviews. I apologize for the delay, but it's been a long couple months between Christmas, going back to work, getting sick, and having other health issues. I started this chapter a few weeks ago and had like 900 words, but deleted every one of them last night because they were crap. This turned out much better than I had planned. Anyway, do me a solid and leave me a word or two and let me know what you think about this chapter.**


	10. Chapter 10

10

The feel of Edward's lips pressed against hers was true, yet wrong at the same time. It took Bella a solid ten seconds to get her wits about her, and she brought her hands up between them, placing her palms on Edward's chest and pushing him away from her. He made to take a step toward her, but stopped when she put her hands further up, silently begging him to stop advancing. Her chest heaved with need, and tears betrayed her eyes. She wanted nothing more than to throw herself back into his arms, beg him to hold her, to kiss her, to want her, but she didn't because wanting and needing him now wasn't going to make her life better, or his life for that matter. So instead, she took a step backward.

"Bella," he murmured, lust pouring from his eyes.

"No."

"Bella," he said again, this time with more yearning than before.

Her will almost crumbled and she almost allowed him to kiss her again, but somehow, she found the strength to resist. "I'm sorry, but no," she whimpered. "Just . . . no."

And before he could stop her, she turned and rushed into the hospitality tent. What was he thinking about by kissing her like that? They couldn't be together. Not now. Not ever. Her life was already over. It was just a matter of time at this point. What kind of future could they have? Not like they could get married or have babies, not when her life was slipping away. Why'd he have to come to her now when she couldn't be with him?

Bella brought a hand up to her mouth as the flap to the tent opened and someone bumped into her. She squealed and turned, expecting Edward, or even Alice. But instead there were two woman — both gorgeous, tall, curvy, and wearing matching red and white bikinis that left little to the imagination. Their arms were muscular, their abs defined, and their skin toasted to perfection.

"Oh, um, sorry," Bella mumbled and limped out of the way.

"No, no, we're sorry," the first of the two. She had long blond hair that she wore in a braid down her back, and bright blue eyes and a kind smile. "Tanya and I weren't paying attention, right, Tan?"

"Totally," the other said. Her hair, which had been twisted into a messy bun on the top of her head, had a more reddish tint, though her eyes were just as blue. "Are you okay, honey?"

"I'm fine," Bella said, her voice breaking. She hated that she'd let her emotions get the best of her. Normally, she wasn't one to show her weakness, but the stress of the PV, meeting Edward, letting herself get closer to him than she had anyone in a long time, had her feelings on edge.

"No, you're not. You're hurt." Tanya looked from her to her partner and frowned. "Get her a chair, Rose."

"Oh, yeah, duh." Rose hurried over and grabbed a chair, dragging it to Bella. "Where does it hurt? Your knee? Maybe an ankle? I have the worst ankles. Twist them while walking across a flat surface."

"I'm not hurting," Bella said, but sat down anyway. Truth be told, her legs hurt, but that wasn't something new to her. "I, um, I'm fine. Really."

"Hmm, okay," Rose said, offering her a hand. "Name's Rose Hale. This is my partner Tanya Clearwater."

"Bella Swan," she murmured. "I'm sorry I bumped into you."

"Like I said, we weren't paying attention." Rose knelt in front of Bella while Tanya walked over to the ice bucket and pulled out three bottles of water. She rejoined them, offering one to each of them.

"Thank you," Bella said, but didn't bother opening it. "I'm okay, though. You don't have to do this."

"Do what?" Tanya asked, taking a hearty gulp of her water.

"This," Bella exclaimed, waving a wild hand in the air. "Tending to me. I'm fine."

"Okay," Tanya replied, but neither she nor Rose made any effect to leave her alone.

Bella stifled the urge to roll her eyes, but turned her attention to the front of the tent when the flap got pulled back and Esme and Alice entered. They shifted their eyes from Bella to Rose and Tanya and back, their smiles falling immediately.

"I'm fine," Bella insisted before either of them could say anything.

"Is she a friend of yours?" Rose asked, tilting her head toward Bella, but addressing her comments to Esme and Alice.

"She's my sister," Esme replied. "What happened?"

"Tanya and I bumped into her when we were coming into the tent," Rose explained, gesturing to Tanya. "Noticed that she was limping, and, well, I guess we forced her to sit. She keeps insisting that she's fine."

"And I am," Bella quipped, tossing her unopened water bottle onto the closest table and standing. Esme, Alice, Rose, and Tanya all reached out for her, but Bella yanked her arms back. "Everyone just leave me alone! Just stop!"

Feeling humiliated and embarrassed, Bella pushed her way past the four of them and out of the tent. Edward and Jasper were standing a few yards away with Carlisle, who was wearing a pair of dark green board shorts and a white T-shirt. The three men turned in her direction, but Bella simply shook her head and left them standing there. She couldn't handle the pity coming off any of them and the last thing she wanted was for Edward to kiss her again.

That was a lie. She wanted him to kiss her more than anything, but that would only lead to heartache and Bella couldn't hurt him like that. It was selfish, she knew, but Edward was better off chasing after someone else, someone who wasn't going to die.

—BD&BH—

For most of the day, Bella had been able to avoid interacting with Esme, Alice, and especially Edward. Her heart ached for him, a feeling she didn't quite understand. Truth be told, she barely knew the guy. One dinner, an afternoon of binging on Netflix, and a few hostile encounters didn't equal a relationship. And why was he so intent on pursuing her? Was it because he pitied her? That had to be it. He felt sorry that she was going to die alone, never having fallen madly, passionately in love.

"Love is stupid," she muttered to herself.

"Wow, don't hold back."

Bella startled, not expecting anyone to have heard her. She had slipped under the bleachers to change out the battery and memory card on her camera. When she turned, she found Carlisle leaning against the side, his hands gripping the bar above his head.

"She sent you to talk to me, didn't she?"

"Yes," he said with a smile. "Esme's worried. Said you've been in a mood all day."

Bella hummed, but didn't deny the claim. She had been in a mood. She'd opened herself up emotionally, something she hadn't done in a long, long time.

"You know, it's okay to be pissed," he added, releasing the bar and taking a couple steps toward her. "I am."

"You are?" Bella asked.

Carlisle nodded. "I may be in love with your sister, Bella, but you're my family, too. You, Charlie, Esme — you were there for me when my mom and dad couldn't be in the same room without screaming at each other. You became my family when mine was falling apart. Losing Charlie, watching you slowly slip away, it just . . . I don't know, Bella, it pisses me the fuck off."

"Me, too," Bella murmured. "I'm not ready to die, Carlisle. I've barely begun to live. It's not fair."

"No, it's not," he admitted.

"He kissed me." The words slipped out before Bella could stop them. She shifted her eyes toward Carlisle, expecting shock or surprise, but finding neither. "Edward kissed me."

"I heard you."

"What am I supposed to do?" she asked. "I want him, Carlisle. I want him so much, but it's not fair to ask him to want me when . . ."

"When you're dying," he said, and Bella nodded. "Save him the heartache, right?"

"Yeah," she said with a sigh.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," he scoffed, causing Bella to gasp. "You think the fact that you're dying is why you're pushing him away? That's been your M.O. for as long as I've known you. You don't let yourself get close to anyone. I get it. I do. You don't want to be hurt. Not like Charlie was. Letting yourself love someone just to watch them walk out the door and never look back — that's heartbreaking, so you push everyone away before you can get too close. Everyone but Edward, apparently."

"So what am I supposed to do?" Bella asked. "Throw myself at him? Take him to bed and spend the next five years letting him watch as I shit myself? As I become bed ridden, as I die? I can't do that to him, Carlisle, I can't!"

"Nobody is saying you have to marry the guy, kiddo. Just don't let Kuf's keep you from living. You've only got a few decent years left, and instead of wallowing away in misery, you're drowning in grief." Carlisle smiled and shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe I'm just a foolish man, but I think he's worth in your life."

And with nothing more to say, Carlisle turned and walked away, leaving Bella with a lot to think about.

—BD&BH—

As the rest of the afternoon slipped by, Carlisle's advice weighed heavily on Bella. Was her reluctance to get involved with Edward because she was sick, or was there more to it? It's true that if she hadn't been sick, she might have already slept with him. Good sex was good sex, but would she have wanted more? Probably not, but that was because of the Kuf's, right?

"You're losing your mind," she mumbled under breath as she zoomed in on the match she was photographing.

She was laying on her stomach just outside of the boundary with her camera angling upward. Inside the ring were Tanya Clearwater and Rose Hale, the two players who had bumped into her inside the hospitality tent. They were leading their opponents — two women from Brazil — by a set and a half. They were strong and fierce. Where Tanya worked the net, Rose covered the back of the line. It seemed like she knew which way the ball was coming before their competitors had even touched it. They were the best women's team she'd ever seen.

Tanya had just leapt to spike the ball down when Bella captured the picture, knowing immediately that it would be a keeper. After a few more serves, the match was over and Rose and Tanya were celebrating a well-earned victory. Bella shifted from her stomach so that she was seated, leaning against the barriers that kept her off the sandy court. As she started flipping through the shots she'd taken, she felt someone watching her.

Her breath caught in her chest as she looked around, finding Edward leaning against the bleachers on the far side of the pit. Even from fifty yards away, she could feel the yearning to be close to him. Could she, though? Could she be with him knowing they didn't have a future?

"We had no idea you were the tournament photographer."

Bella shook her head and looked way from Edward, turning toward the pit where Tanya and Rose were standing with smiles on their faces.

Rose stretched a hand toward her. "Let me help you up."

"Thank you." Bella took her up on the offer, wrapping her fingers around her hand and trying to get her legs under her as Rose pulled. She winced as her knees locked. Her muscles ached even more than they had that morning.

"You sure you're okay from earlier?" Tanya asked.

"I'm fine," she said, putting on a fake smile. "That was a hell-of-a match."

"Eh, we did okay," Rose said, shrugging her shoulders. "Need to work on my sets more. Tanya really had to work to get the ball over the net because I wasn't setting her up good enough."

"Ignore her, Bella," Tanya said, laughing. "She always spends at least an hour after a match complaining about what she thinks she needs to do better, when in reality, she's pretty damn perfect."

"No, I'm not," Rose scoffed. "Anyway, we'd better hit the showers. We stink."

After leaving Tanya and Rose, Bella packed up her camera and headed out toward the parking lot to meet Esme. However, it wasn't Esme in the parking lot. It was Edward. He was leaning against the side of Esme's Thing, his legs crossed at the ankles, his arms folded in front of him. He was still wearing the same shorts and tank top that he'd worn when he and Jasper defeated Newton and Crowley that morning.

"Hey," she said, stopping a few feet away from him. "Where's my sister?"

Edward smiled. "She left an hour ago with Carlisle. Asked me to make sure you got home okay. You and her car, of course."

Bella nodded, inwardly cursing her sister. She should have suspected something like this after her conversation with Carlisle. "I'll take a cab."

"Really? You're going to take a cab instead of riding with me?" he asked. "The kiss wasn't that bad."

"It wasn't?" Bella raised an eyebrow. "Kind of sloppy, if you ask me."

"Good thing I didn't ask you." Edward smiled wider. "And it was anything but sloppy, and you know it."

Bella bit the inside of her lip. "Maybe."

Edward pushed himself off the side of the car and opened the passenger side door. "I gave Esme my word that you'd get home safely. Don't make a liar out of me."

"Fine, but you'd better drive better than you run."

"You stepped in front of me," Edward teased. Once she was inside the car, he closed the door and leaned over the side so that his lips were just inches from her ear. "I'll take care of you, Bella. You have my word on that."

The promise behind his words didn't go unnoticed, but Bella didn't say anything. What was she supposed to say? Okay? Thank you? I'm sorry for making you want to be with me? No, no, there wasn't anything she could say that would be all right.

Edward rushed around to the driver's side and climbed in behind the wheel. He gave her a smile before he started the car and shifted into first gear. "I've never quite mastered the skills needed to drive a stick."

"And Esme let you drive her car?" Bella laughed.

"I, um, I might not have told her that little detail," he admitted.

"Oh, wow, okay, switch spots with me," she snickered.

"What?"

"Look, if you fuck up Esme's car, she will lose her shit. This Thing is her pride and joy, her baby. Let me drive."

"Okay."

As Bella rounded the back of the car, she noticed the black and red duffle back in the backseat and picked it up as she looked at Edward. "This yours?"

He nodded. "Figured I'd clean up and change at your house before we head out again. Save us some time."

"Oh really? And just where are we going?" she asked, letting the bag slip from her fingers.

"To a party."

"I don't go to parties," she scoffed and yanked the car door open with more force than needed.

"Well, you are tonight," he said, climbing into the passenger seat. "It's the traditional VP Luau, Bella. You have to come."

"I don't have to do anything," she quipped, and started the car.

"You keep talking about living your life to the fullest, Bella, but you aren't," he said. "You hide away at home because it's safe. You want to live — I mean really live — then come with me. Take a chance on me."

Bella nodded as tears threatened to fall. "Okay."

A few minutes later, Bella was cruising down the highway toward their house. Edward sat with his hand resting on the headrest on Bella's seat. She kept expecting him to stroke her hair, to reach down and place his hand on her knee, but he didn't, and she wasn't sure if she was disappointed or relieved that he wasn't touching her.

 **Thank you for the reviews. I apologize for the delay. Real life has been at Bitch and, yeah, shit happens. Do me a solid and leave me a few words.**


	11. Chapter 11

11

Knowing Edward was naked on the other side of the wall had Bella feeling anxious as she riffled through her closet, trying her hardest to find something to wear. These Luaus were a tradition when it came to the PV Tournament. It was mostly just an excuse for the athletes to let loose, get drunk, and sneak away to have sex. Once upon a time, Bella would have been one of the girls who crashed said luau and found her a guy to hook up with. Of course, that was before her world shattered. Before her father got sick, before her life was stolen from her.

"Got any shampoo that doesn't smell like flowers or fruit?"

Bella turned toward the doorway of her bedroom, but felt her mouth open in awe. Edward was standing just outside her bedroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. A very small, thin towel that hid nothing. Especially the semi he was sporting. His chest was smooth, yet hard, and she fought the urge to lick him.

A smirk tugged at the corners of his lips. "I can drop the towel if you want."

"What?" she mumbled, clearing her throat as she turned away. "Sorry, no, that's the only shampoo we have. Maybe you should have brought your own."

"Next time, I will."

Bella gasped. "There won't be a next time."

Edward laughed and gave the towel a tug before swinging it over his shoulder. Bella caught sight of his cock before he turned and walked away. "Keep telling yourself that, Swan."

"Son-of-a-bitch," she muttered under her breath. "He may be an ass but, damn, he's sexy as fuck."

"Heard that!" Edward yelled from the bathroom.

Bella groaned. "Shut the fucking door, asshole!"

Edward's laughter was drowned out by the sound of the bathroom door closing. Blowing out a breath of air, Bella tried to keep her hands from shaking as she grabbed a sexy little blue, strapless dress that she hadn't worn in over a wear. She tossed it onto the bed before rifling through her drawers for her favorite blue silk panties. Though, why she felt the need to wear her sexy panties wasn't something she was sure she understood. Something inside her told her to take a chance, yet it also told her to run as far away from Edward as she could.

"You're losing your fucking mind," she muttered to herself, before closing and locking her bedroom door.

She tried to focus on drying and fixing her hair, choosing once again to wear it in a side braid. She didn't bother with make-up. She never cared for it, always feeling like cake on her face. Once she was dressed, she slipped her feet into a pair of silver sandals and went to wait for Edward in the living room, however, he was already waiting for her. Much like the night he spilled his beer on her in JJ's Bar, he was wearing a pair of snug black dress pants, but instead of the white dress shirt, he had an emerald green tank top under a flowery, short sleeve button up. Most guys would look like a silly tourist, but it looked good on him.

He smiled and raised one of his eyebrows as he tilted his head toward her. "Looking good, Swan."

"Thanks," she murmured. "You look okay."

"I'm sexy as fuck."

"Seriously, your ego is huge!"

Edward winked at her. "I know."

She shook her head as she walked into the kitchen, pulling out a bottle of water. She lined up her pill bottles on the counter and started adding one of each to the palm of her hand. It wasn't until she'd grabbed the water that she realized Edward was standing in the doorway of the kitchen, watching her. She turned toward him as she popped the pills into her mouth, chasing them with half the water in the bottle.

"They taste like shit," she said. "The aftertaste, I mean. Like rotten eggs, or bad cabbage."

"Do they help?" he asked.

Bella shrugged her shoulders. "Who knows? I mean, until the last few days, I hadn't had as much as tingle anywhere, but then I have days like I've had this week, and I don't know if they help or if I'm wasting time."

Edward's eyes widened, though he didn't call her out.

"Just forget I said anything," she mumbled before placing her water bottle back into the fridge. "We should go. Traffic will be a bitch tonight."

"Yeah, all right," he said, reaching for her.

Though Bella wanted to push him away, she found herself wrapping her fingers around his and letting him lead her out of the house and out to her jeep. She knew Esme wouldn't want them taking her car to the party. Too many drunks. Since Edward had admitted that he wasn't skilled in driving a stick, Bella climbed behind the wheel and off they went.

As Bella drove toward Kaimana Beach, she felt Edward watching her as she drove. She felt self-conscience yet liked that he watched her. What was wrong with her? She didn't want a relationship, did she? Or need someone else worrying about her. It's not like he was going to stay after the tournament. He would leave in two weeks and she'd be left alone.

"Tell me what it's like to surf," Edward said as Bella slowed to stop at a red light. They were only a few blocks from the beach and she could already hear the music blaring.

"Um, I don't know that I can really explain it." Pausing, she thought back to the first time she stood on a foam board by herself. "It's freeing, I guess. I mean, you're literally gliding on top of water. My heart races and for those few moments, I feel like I can do anything."

"Who taught you how to surf?" he asked.

"My dad," Bella murmured as the light turned green. She eased through the intersection, noting that many of the parking lots were already starting to fill. "He used to say that from the time I could stand on my own, I begged to be in the water. Just after my fourth birthday, he took me out on his board. He put me on his shoulders, and damn, I was hooked. I loved it. Knew that's what I wanted to do with my life."

"So, if surfing was your life, how'd you get into photography?"

Bella didn't answer as she pulled into an empty parking space a block and a half away from the beach. "We're gonna have to walk the rest of the way."

"Okay." Edward climbed out and rushed around to herself, waiting as she slipped out of the jeep. He slipped his arm around her as they started the short trip. She knew he was only doing it to support her, because of how weak she was, but she didn't hate the feeling of his arm around her.

"I've always loved photography. My dad gave me a cheap Polaroid for my fifth birthday and I annoyed everyone by snapping pictures. But surfing was my one true love. I was going to go pro and see the world," she said with a laugh.

"Why didn't you?"

Bella frowned. "Blew out my knee during the Reef Hawaiian Pro. I'd been having problems for a while, but ignored the pain. Surgery fixed everything, but I'll never compete again. So, I turned to photography."

"You miss it, though, don't you?"

"Everyday."

As they approached the Luau, Bella felt herself tensing. Once upon a time, she'd enjoy the hell of a party like this, but now, all she could think about was having another seizure. There was a large bonfire blazing. A disc jockey was blaring the latest pop song, and nearly two hundred people were grinding to the ridiculous beat, most of them with plastic cups of beer in their hands. Edward slipped his arm from around her, but immediately took hold of her hand as he led the way through the throng of party goers, many of whom greeted him with a wave or pat on the back. Several women, wearing only bikinis, squealed when they saw him, pushing out their boobs in hope of gaining his attention, but he didn't seem to notice. Or if he did, he was very good at hiding it.

"Swan?"

Bella cringed when she heard James calling out from behind them. Turning, she released Edward's hand. No point adding fuel to the interrogation she knew would happen sooner or later. James was pushing his way through the crowd with a tall, dark haired man tailing behind him. Bella recognized him as Laurent Masters, the son of Marcus Master, the head of the PV Organization.

James stopped a few feet away from her and Edward, his smile growing as he looked from her to him and back to her. "Damn, Swan, after the other night, I figured you'd cut his cock off the next time you saw him."

"Thought about it," she said, ignoring the way Edward groaned and shifted his body away from her. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, as one of the sponsors of PV, I was invited."

"You've been sponsoring PV for ten years, yet I've never seen you at one of these events," Bella pointed out, folding her arms in front of her. "What's changed?"

James grinned widely as he gestured to Laurent. "This sexy ass man is what changed," he laughed. "Laurent Masters, this is Bella Swan, and . . . I don't think I've met your boy toy, Swan."

"He's not my boy toy," Bella growled as Edward thrust his hand forward and said, "Cullen. Edward Cullen."

"It's nice to meet you," Laurent said, reaching around James to shake Edward's hand before shifting his eyes to Bella. "Both of you. I remember watching your father play when I was a kid. Man had some real power in his serve."

Bella nodded, feeling Edward's attention shift to her. "He did."

"I was sorry to hear about his passing," he added.

"Thank you," Bella murmured before reaching out for Edward, who immediately took his hand. "Peanut's waiting for us, so we'll see you later."

And before they could say anything else, Bella was pulling Edward away, needing a moment to collect herself.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked as she stopped by the water's edge.

"He gave it up, you know?" She looked at him. "He met my mom while doing a tournament in Washington. She followed him to Hawaii after she found out she was pregnant with my sister, and he said family came first. So, he quit. Mom stayed long enough for me to be born, but island life wasn't for her, I guess."

"Where is she now?"

Bella shrugged. "Never bothered to find out."

"So, he gave up everything to raise you and your sister."

She nodded. "He said he never regretted it, but I always wondered. He gave up everything for us."

"He was a dad. That's what they're supposed to do, isn't it?"

"Suppose," she murmured, shaking her head and looking over at him. "I don't know why I'm telling you all this. I barely know you, yet you know more about me than people I've known my whole life."

"It's because you trust me," he said with a smirk.

"Trust?" she laughed. "I don't trust anyone."

"Not true," he argued. "You trust your sister and Carlisle and Alice. And you trust me. If you didn't, you wouldn't be here with me right now."

"We should get back to the party," she said, turning to walk away, but stopping when Edward's fingers wrapped around her arm. "Don't."

"Don't what?" he asked, and she felt his body pressed against hers. "Don't touch you? Don't care?"

"Both," she said, gently tugging her arm from his grip, but instead of heading back to the parry, she turned and faced him. "Once upon a time, Edward, I would have been up for playing this game with you. Hell, I might have already slept with you, but now . . . I'm just not the kind of woman you should want to play around with."

"Play?" he asked, bringing his hands up to her face, his thumbs stroking her cheeks. She could feel her body trembling, something she knew had nothing to do with the disease trying to kill her and everything to do with the way he held her. "Does this feel like I'm playing?"

And for the second time, Edward kissed her.

 **Thank you for the reviews. I'm sorry about the lack of updates, but at the same time, I'm not. I fully intended on spending the summer writing, but I decided that I needed to work on my health instead. For those of you on my FB, you know what I've been doing, and for those who aren't, feel free to friend me at Lisa Bilbrey. I can't promise quick updates as I know better than to make a promise I can't keep, but I will do my best.**


	12. Chapter 12

12

"Shit, Swan."

At the sound of Alice's voice, Bella pulled herself out of Edward's embrace, her face heating with embarrassment. Alice smirked, her arms folded in front of her while Jasper stood behind her, his eyes wide, but a smile tugging on his lips.

"Leave you alone for two minutes, and you start sucking the face of a guy you can't stand."

Bella's eyes widened as she looked from her best friend to the man who had turned her world upside down and inside out. "Edward."

"Don't," he muttered before walking away, which hurt more than she expected it to.

"Goddamn it, Peanut," Bella snarled, glaring at Alice. "Why the fuck would you say that?"

"Geez, I was joking," she lamented. "Sorry."

"Sorry?" Bella scoffed. "Sorry doesn't do shit."

Bella walked past her and Jasper, pulling away when Alice tried to reach for her. She had made a wonderful moment awkward as hell. Bella needed to find Edward, try somehow smooth over the mess. For reasons she didn't quite understand, Bella needed Edward. She spotted him at the bar, but before she could take more than a few steps in his direction, Rose and Tanya blocked her way. Bella watched as Edward disappeared into the crowd, taking a part of her heart with him.

"Bella, right?" Rose asked, smiling. "Your name is Bella, isn't it?"

Instead of the usual volleyball uniform, Rose was wearing a red, strapless top and a denim mini-skirt. Her hair had been left down, reaching the middle of her back in soft, sexy waves.

Bella nodded while looking for Edward.

"We didn't think you'd be here," Tanya added, drawing Bella's attention away from the crowd around them to her.

There was a tall, dark haired man standing behind her, his hands resting on Tanya's shoulders. He towered over her by a good foot, and had the build of a professional football player. He seemed oddly familiar, yet she couldn't seem to place him. Tanya was wearing a pair of khaki shorts and black tank with a red and white volleyball on the front.

"Um, why not?" she asked.

Tanya smiled. "Just don't seem the party type, I guess."

"Hmm," Bella hummed, her eyes shifting to the man behind her again. "Do I know you?"

"I should be hurt that you don't remember me, Swan," he joked, his hands leaving Tanya's shoulders and folding in front of his chest.

"Just how do you know my name?" she asked, taking a step backward.

The man smiled and uttered two words: "Mrs. Cope."

Bella pressed her lips together. Shelly Cope had been her teacher in third grade, the year her mother had reappeared in her life. For five months, Renee Swan played the role of perfect mother, taking her two girls to school, baking cookies, braiding their hair. Then, just before their Mother's Day Tea at school, she up and left them again. Gone in the middle of the night with nothing but a note with three words: Maybe next year. There was never a next year. Bella never saw her mother again. Never wanted to, either.

"Mrs. Cope?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow. "You're going to have to give me more than that."

"Okay," he laughed. "You and Alice Brandon used to chase me around the playground, hit me on the back of the head, and scream that I had cooties before running away again."

Bella's eyes widened as her memories flooded back. "Seth? Seth Clearwater?"

He smiled wider and nodded. "Been a long time, Swan."

"I'd say," she snickered. "You moved that year."

"Dad got transferred to a base back in the states," he explained. "Didn't find out until school let out, moved before I had a chance to say goodbye. Military life."

"He was navy, right?"

Seth nodded.

"Wow," she mused. "So, what are you doing now?"

"Oh, a little of everything," he said, once more placing his hands on Tanya's shoulders. "Mostly trying to keep up with my wife."

"Clearwater," Bella said with a shake of her head. "I didn't even think about that earlier."

"What are the odds of you two knowing each other?" Tanya said, smiling.

"Yeah." Bella bit the inside of her lip as she spotted Edward once again. "Um, I'll talk to you guys later."

She didn't give them a chance to stop her before she started toward him, but once again, he slipped into the crowd. Feeling frustrated, she contemplated leaving and saying to hell with him, but her heart ached at the mere thought of not being in his arms. How pathetic was she? Had two decent kisses really turned her into whiny, moody girl?

Bella stopped at the bar and waited for the bartender to finish serving the handful of people gathered next to her. Just as he turned toward her, Bella felt a body press against her and a pair of hands grip her hips. Unlike when Edward touched her, an uneasy, disgusting feeling crept over her.

"What the . . ." Bella gagged as she looked over her shoulder and found Mike Newton leaning against her. She threw her elbow into his gut, causing him to stumble back a few steps. "Who the fuck do you think you are, you stupid, son-of-a-bitch?"

"I'm the guy buying you a drink," he replied full of cocky arrogance.

"Like hell you are," she scoffed and turned to leave, but when his fingers wrapped around her arm, she stopped. "You really need to stop grabbing me, Newton."

"You really need to stop being a bitch," he snarled. "Or is Mason the only one who gets to fuck you?"

Bella gasped, her hand free hand searching for the first glass she could grasp. Gripping the cold glass in between her fingers, she turned and threw the contents in Newton's face. Newton released her arm as he stumbled backward like he'd just got a face full of acid.

"You stupid bitch," he yelled, drawing attention to them.

"Don't ever touch me again, asshat. In fact, do me a solid and go fuck yourself." Bella dropped the now empty glass back onto the bar and left Newton glaring at her.

She had never been more pissed than she was in that moment. She was done. All she wanted was to go home and wallow in self-pity. However, as she wove her way through the crowd toward the exit, a pair of hands came to rest on her hips. A feeling of contentment filled her as she looked over her shoulder, knowing that this time, Edward would be the one touching her.

"I've been looking for you," she said, turning in his arms so that she faced him.

"I've been looking for you, too," he replied.

Bella slipped her hands up around his neck so that her fingers were tangled in the base of his hair. "Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"Then come with me."

—BD&BH—

Edward didn't question Bella as she led him away from the party and back to her jeep. He didn't say anything as she drove, though she felt him watching her, always watching her. Half an hour later, she parked her jeep and motioned for Edward to follow her. She led him down a small, narrow path. Stopping, she tilted her head to the right and smiled.

"Welcome to my hideaway."

Edward inhaled a deep breath as he stumbled forward and looked around. The small cove was hidden from the public. Only a few locals knew it even existed. Even though it was dark, the water almost seemed to glow. The sand was soft and almost untouched.

"What is this place?" he asked, looking back at her.

"It's called Ka hanu o ka'ānela. It means Angel's Breath in Hawaiian."

"It's . . ." Edward trailed off as he kicked off his shoes and walked closer to the water. He stopped and looked back at her. "It's incredible."

Tears filled Bella's eyes. "After I started showing symptoms, I came here. Like somehow this little piece of paradise could take everything away, make me healthy again."

Edward brought his hand up to her face, brushing the tears away before pushing her hair behind her ear. "You're very own fountain of health."

"I could stand here and tell you that what Peanut said was a lie, but we both know that's not the truth. I hated you, Edward. Hated everything about who you are. You were just another player, and I didn't have time for men like you in my life."

"I wish I could tell you that I'm not the cocky son-of-a-bitch you thought I was, but I am. I have to be in this game. I came to the island with one purpose and one purpose only: to win. I told myself I wasn't going to be distracted by women, I was going to focus. You have me second guessing everything, Bella."

"Don't," she said, turning and facing him. "Don't second guess anything. You want to win? So win. Kick everyone's ass."

"I don't care about winning anymore. I just don't want to walk away from you."

Bella placed her hands on his chest, leaning toward him. "I don't want you to walk away, either. But I won't — no I can't — ask you to give me more than the next couple of weeks."

"And if that's not enough? If I want more?"

Bella shook her head. "You won't."

"I already do."

"Yeah?" she asked, sucking the inside of her lip between her teeth.

"Yes," Edward all but growled.

"Then take me to bed. Make love to me. Let now be enough."

Edward pressed his lips against hers before sweeping her off her feet. He carried her back up to the jeep, setting her in the passenger seat. He ran back to get their shoes before climbing behind the wheel.

Forty-five minutes later, Edward pulled up at the bungalow. He was opening her door before she even had a chance to remove her seatbelt. Keeping his arm wrapped around her, he led her up to the door, waiting for her to unlock the door before following her inside. Bella bit the inside of her lip as she turned to face him, her hand stretched out to his. She could feel him trembling, or maybe it was her that was shaking. It didn't matter. Bella led him down the small hallway to her bedroom, kicking the door shut with her foot.

Edward closed the distance between them, grasping her face between his hands before kissing her with passion and need. Bella slid her hands up his chest, grabbing the front of his shirt and pulling it open, sending buttons flying. Edward laughed as he leaned away and shrugged the now torn clothing off, letting it fall to the floor.

"You're turn," he said, cocking an eyebrow.

Bella's cheeks warmed as she reached to her left and slowly lowered the zipper. The dress fell off her, pooling at her feet. She stepped out of it, kicking it to the side. "I'm waiting."

Edward smirked as he reached for his belt buckle. He pulled it through the loops of his pants before tossing it onto the floor. He undid the button on his pants, but then stopped. "You're turn."

Bella exhaled a deep breath as she reached behind her, unclasping the blue strapless bra she'd put on. Edward's lips parted, his tongue running across his bottom lip as the bra slipped from her fingers and fell to the floor.

"Jesus fuck," he murmured.

"Keep going," she said, gesturing to his pants.

Edward smirked as he lowered the zipper and shimmied the pants over his hips and down his legs.

"Wow," Bella whispered. Edward wasn't a small man, not at all.

"Come on, Swan. I showed you mine," he chuckled, kicking his pants off and placing his hands on his hips.

Bella shifted her eyes up to his as she hooked her thumbs inside the sides of her panties and slowly lowered them to her feet. Edward's eyes drifted down her body, stopping at her pussy. He inhaled a ragged breath and before Bella knew it, he had her wrapped in his arms.

He laid her on the bed, his lips moving with furious passion against hers. Their bodies were pressed against each other. Edward's hand moved to her leg, pulling it and over his hip. The feeling of him pressed against her was almost too much.

"You're fucking beautiful, Bella," he murmured against her skin. "Do you feel how much I want you?"

"Yes," she whimpered. "You can have me. Please, just have me."

"I will."

Edward shifted on the bed and reached for his pants. He pulled his wallet out of the back pocket, slipping a condom out. He tossed his wallet back on the floor and leaned back on his knees, his hand stroking his cock. "Are you sure? Because this changes everything."

Bella sat up and grabbed the foil package from him. She ripped it open, tossing it on the floor before sliding the condom down his incredible length. "I just want to feel normal for one night. Just one night. We'll deal with tomorrow when tomorrow comes."

Pushing her back onto the bed, Edward hovered over her, his lips finding hers as he pressed himself inside her. Bella cried out against his lips, but Edward moved slowly, gently. He used every inch of his body to make her feel good, to make her feel normal. Even if it was just for one night. They came together with silent orgasms, their bodies covered in sweat, their breath coming out in heavy pants.

Edward ridded himself of the condom before climbing into bed behind her, his arms wrapping around her. As they drifted to sleep, Bella wondered what kind of life they could have had if she hadn't been dying.

 **Thank you for all the reviews.**


	13. Chapter 13

13

Bella was startled the next morning when the door to her bedroom was thrown open and a loud gasp filled the room. Groaning, Bella pried her eyes open and looked over her shoulder, finding Esme standing there with a glass of orange juice in one hand and a plate of eggs, toast, and bacon in the other.

"Get out and shut the door," Bella snarled, pulling the blanket up so that it covered both her and Edward, who appeared to be able to sleep through anything.

"What? I mean how? Shit," Esme mumbled before backing out of the room and rushing down the hallway.

Bella climbed out of bed and grabbed the first article of clothing her hand touched, which happened to be Edward's shirt. She slipped it on, buttoning the few buttons that remained, before following her sister, making sure to close the door behind her. She found Esme standing in the kitchen, the orange juice and plate of food still in her hand.

"Haven't you ever heard of knocking?" Bella grumbled, pulling the juice out of her hand before moving over to the cabinet that held her pills.

"I didn't realize I needed to," Esme argued, shifting toward Bella. "You had sex with him."

"Yes, and?" Bella started dumping each pill into the palm of her hand.

"And don't you think you're moving kind of fast?"

Before Bella could answer, the sound of her bedroom door opened and she and Esme looked toward the hallway. Moments later, Edward wandered by, stopping when he saw them in the kitchen. He had pulled on his pants from the night before, but seeing as Bella was wearing his shirt, his chest was bare.

"Hey," he said, smiling. "Gotta head out. Early morning run with Whitlock, but I'll see you at the pit, right?"

Bella nodded. "How are you getting into town?"

"Cab." Edward pushed away from the doorjamb. "Keep the shirt. It looks better on you than on me, anyway."

"Thanks," she replied.

"Trust me when I say it was my pleasure," was all he said before leaving her and Esme.

A moment later, the sound of the front door to the bungalow opened and shut. Bella smiled as she turned back to her meds.

"Bella," Esme whispered.

"I know, Essie," she murmured before popping the pills into her mouth and chasing them with the glass of orange juice. Placing the glass on the counter, she turned back to her sister. "I just wanted one night. One where I wasn't dying. Don't I deserve just one night like that?"

"Of course you do, but can you have just one night with him? I see the way you look at him." Esme placed the plate of food on the table. "You are dying, Bella. It crushes my soul to say that, but we can't keep denying the facts here. You are dying and Edward is going to be left behind when that happens. You really want to do that to him?"

"No," she whimpered. Esme took a step toward her, but Bella put her hand up. "I know I'm being selfish, Essie, but he makes me feel things I've never felt before."

"Oh, Bella," she whispered. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

"Doesn't matter, does it? In two weeks, he'll be moving on and I'll be left behind to die alone."

Bella walked past Esme, down the hallway, and into her bedroom. She shut the door and leaned against it. Tears filled her eyes and her heart ached. She wasn't lying when she told Esme that she was selfish. One night with Edward was never going to be enough. She'd always want more, crave him. Even until the moment she took her last breath.

—BD&BH—

An hour later, Bella pulled her jeep up to the PV Tournament. She had showered and dressed in a pair of black cotton shorts and a red tank top. Esme had stood on the porch and watched her leave. Bella knew she was right about her getting involved with Edward. It wasn't fair to him to expect him to give her his attention for the next two weeks, to want her the way she wanted him. Yet, she still found herself yearning to be near him. To feel him touching her, inside her. She was in deep shit, that much she was sure of.

Felix was waiting for her at the front gates with Alice, who looked uncomfortable. Bella felt horrible for being mad at her bestie, but at the same time, Alice had crossed a line.

"Good morning," Bella said, smiling.

"You're in a good mood," Felix said, lifting an eyebrow. "Should I be worried?"

"Probably." Bella laughed. "So what's up?"

"Just finalized the plans for the photoshoot of some of our best and brightest players," Felix explained, thrusting a folder at Bella.

She took it and opened it, scanning the list of names. Edward and Jasper were both on there, of course, but so were Newton and Crowley. For the women, Rose and Tanya topped the list along with two others that Bella had never heard of: Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley.

"So how are you wanting this to go down? Here on the beach, back at the studio?" Bella asked, looking up from the folder to Felix and Alice, who was sucking on the inside of her lip. It was a habit she had picked up from Bella, something they both did when nervous.

"I think here on the beach, or maybe some of the local hotspots. I'll leave the details up to you and Peanut."

Bella nodded and waited for Felix to leave before she turned her attention back to Alice. "Peanut, I—"

"I am so, so sorry, Swan," Alice fretted, reaching for Bella's hands. "I didn't mean anything about it. Honestly, I was joking, but you know me. I open my mouth and my mother's sense of tact comes tumbling out."

"It's okay," Bella said, tucking the folder against her chest. "I'm sorry for getting angry. I just . . . I don't know."

"You like him."

Bella nodded. "More than I should."

"Not more," Alice disagreed. "So we're okay? Besties again?"

"Always," Bella laughed, pulling Alice into a one-armed hug.

Alice giggled and pulled away. "Good, because I'm freaking out."

"Why?"

"Because last night, Jasper and I had the most incredible night," Alice gushed. "Swan, I think I'm falling for him."

"You think?" Bella asked, hooking her arm in with Alice's as they started walking toward the pit.

Alice nodded. "Usually, I sleep with a guy and move on. Don't want to get tied down, but Jasper's different. Bella, he listens to me talk, like really listens. Last night, the way he touched me, held me . . . I'm falling hard for him."

"That's great, Peanut. He seems like a nice guy, from what little I've been around him."

As they approached the pit, Bella immediately spotted Edward on the other side with Jasper. They were smiling and laughing, without a care in the world. It was in that moment Bella realized how truly selfish she was for allowing him to be a part of her life. He deserved better, more than her.

Edward laughed again, his eyes shifting to Bella. He must have seen right through her as his smile dropped and he stood up.

Bella looked away. "I'll check in with you in a bit, Peanut."

"Hey, you okay?" Alice asked, but Bella ignored the silly question as she turned and walked away.

She was far from being okay.

—BD&BH—

Bella snuck under the bleachers and got her camera set up, needing the few minutes of silence that the area offered. Once she was ready, she emerged from her hideaway, only to find Newton waiting for her. Instead of the usual smirk, he looked furious.

"You ruined my shirt," Newton sneered, grabbing her arm and yanking her toward him. "You owe me for dry cleaning!"

Before Bella could react, Edward was behind Newton. He grabbed him by the hair and yanked him backward, taking Bella down with him. She hit hard, screaming as her bad knee smacked against the ground with a thud.

"Don't fucking touch her again, Newton," Edward spat, throwing him several feet away.

"That little bitch owes me for dry cleaning," Newton snarled.

"Like Hell I do," Bella said, fighting the pain in her knee as she stood. "You put your hands on me after I told you to fuck off, and then play victim when I throw a drink in your face? Be glad I didn't kick you so hard your balls were in your throat."

"He touched you last night?" Edward asked, eerily calm, which scared Bella more than it did Newton, who laughed.

"Just trying to get a piece of that pussy you seem to like, Mason."

"Leave," Edward snarled and took a step toward Newton, who quickly scrambled away. He turned back to Bella, his face softening. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she muttered, stretching her leg out. Her knee ached, but it wasn't anything she hadn't felt before.

"Why didn't you tell me about him grabbing you last night?"

Bella shrugged. "Didn't seem important. Now I realize he's a fucking moron."

"No shit," Edward scoffed, taking a step toward her.

"I'd better get to work," she said, moving around him.

"Bella," he called after her, but she kept walking.

—BD&BH—

Bella spent most of the morning avoiding Edward, Alice, Felix, and Esme. She tried to focus on the matches, taking more than two hundred pictures that she was sure would be useless. It seemed like every time she turned around, Edward was there, watching her. She wanted to throw her arms around him, beg him to never leave her, but she couldn't. She had told herself that one night would be enough, but it wasn't. She would never get tired of Edward and that was a problem.

As the matches were called for lunch, Bella started toward the hospitality tent in search of water, when Jasper ran up to her.

"Come on, darlin'," he drawled, his accent thicker than normal. "I'm in the mood for fish tacos and Alice says you know where to find the best ones on the island."

"She does, huh?" Bella snorted. "Funny because Peanut knows all the taco places that I do. I'm sure she won't steer you in the wrong direction, Cowboy."

"Still, why don't you show me?"

Bella sighed. "Fine, but don't think I don't know what this is about."

"I'm sure you do, darlin'," Jasper laughed, gesturing for her to lead the way.

Annoyed, Bella led Jasper away from the beach, down a block to a line of food trucks that made their money off tourist. She motioned for Jasper to get them a table while she ordered them a dozen fish tacos with all the fixings. Once she'd paid, she carried their order to where Jasper sat and settled into the seat across from him.

"Damn, these look good," Jasper exclaimed before picking one up and shoving half of it into his mouth. "Oh, my God!"

Bella laughed as she picked up one of the bottles of water and unscrewed the lid. "Best fish tacos on the island."

Jasper finished his first and reached for another as Bella pulled out her pills and started popping them into her mouth one by one. He leaned back in his chair and watched as she chased them down with the water. "What's it like? Knowing that you're going to die, I mean."

"It's like never waking from a nightmare," she said, quietly as she picked up one of the tacos. "I have. . . I had all these plans for my life, these dreams, and in a heartbeat, they were ripped away from me."

"So what now?" he asked before taking a bite of his second taco. "Goddamn, we do not have tacos like this in Texas."

Bella smiled. "For now, I focus on doing my job, I guess."

"But what about your dreams? Do you have like a bucket list or something?"

"No," she murmured. "What's the point?"

"How about just living life to the fullest?" he suggested. "That's what I would do."

"Yeah?"

Jasper nodded.

"Well, when you're dying, you can make your list and do all the things you've dreamed about, but I'm just trying to get through one day to the next."

"I didn't mean to offend you, darlin'," he said quickly.

Bella exhaled a deep breath. "I know. I'm sorry. I just . . . I don't know," she whimpered, dropping her half eaten taco onto her plate. "I don't want to let him go, Cowboy."

"Mason?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Bella nodded.

"Then don't," Jasper suggested.

"That easy, huh?"

"No," he admitted. "But you don't know him the way I do. He's different now. Before he was always about the game, the win, the power. Now, he's . . . I don't know. He's about having fun, about enjoying life. That's because of you, darlin'."

"So what am I supposed to do? Just let go and have my fun with him? What happens when the tournament is over and you move on to the next one? Even if I wasn't dying, Cowboy, it's not like he and I could have our happily ever after."

"Why can't you?" he asked, picking up another taco.

"Because my life is here and his is everywhere else," she said, softly.

Jasper didn't offer a rebuttal. They finished their tacos and headed back to the pit. He left her next to the hospitality tent, muttering something about finding Alice. Sighing, Bella ducked into the tent, seeing Seth sitting in the back with his feet propped up on a chair and a laptop on his legs. She grabbed another bottle of water before walking over to him, falling into the chair next to him.

He smiled as he looked from his laptop to her. "Just so you know, Peanut recognized me immediately."

"Yeah, well, that's because she used to have a crush on you," Bella said with a laugh. "Why do you think we always picked on you?"

"Hmm, interesting," he snickered. He closed his laptop and placed it on the table between them. "I heard about your dad passing. I'm sorry. Always thought he was a nice guy."

"He was," she admitted, opening the water. She lifted it toward her mouth, but her hand started trembling, causing her to spill it all over herself. "Damn it," she muttered, dropping it onto the floor as she clenched her hand into a tight fist. "I gotta go."

Before Seth could stop her, Bella bolted from the tent, running smack into Edward. He grabbing her around the waist, pressing his body against hers. She shifted her eyes to his, finding so much longing and need, and unable to stop herself, she pressed her lips to his. One night wasn't enough. Maybe two weeks would be.

 **Thank you for all the reviews. Last update for a while because I'm about to start National Novel Writing Month.**


	14. Chapter 14

14

Bella pulled her lips from Edward's, tears filling her eyes as she tilted her head back and looked at him. Emotionally overwhelmed, she found herself wanting to share all her secrets with him, but struggled to let herself be honest with him.

"Damn, Swan."

Tensing, Bella turned and found Seth standing in the entrance to the tent, his laptop pressed against his chest, while his arms were crossed around it. He had a smirk on his lips that she could remember him sporting when they were little and she'd get in trouble for talking to him during class.

"Guess you're feeling okay then," he added, raising an eyebrow as he looked from her to Edward and back.

"When were you not feeling okay?" Edward asked, causing Bella to sigh.

"It was nothing," she said, softly. "Hands were shaking a little, but they're fine now. See?"

She held her hands up, cringing when she saw them trembling still. Clenching her hands into fists, she turned to Seth. "Don't you have an elsewhere to be?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. My wife is waiting for me. Don't tell her I said this, but she doesn't have much in the way of patience, but she's cute when she'd trying to be all pissed and everything."

Seth smiled before he left her and Edward alone. Bella bit the inside of her lip as she turned and looked back at Edward, who was glaring at the back of Seth's head. It was comical and a round of laughter erupted from inside her before she could stop them.

"What's so funny?" Edward grumbled and shifted his attention down to her.

"You," she replied coyly. "You're jealous of him."

"No, I'm not," he groused.

"Yeah, okay," she scoffed, fisting the front of his T-shirt and pulling him downward so she could kiss him again. "I'd better get back to work. Meet me at my jeep at the end of the day?"

"You sure you're okay to keep working?"

Bella rolled her eyes and released her hold on him.

"I'm just asking," he said, grabbing her hands and bringing them upward, quirking an eyebrow when they trembled again.

"I'm fine. Just a little shaky. It's normal," she said, quietly. "I gotta go. Meet me later?"

With nod, Edward agreed, though Bella could see the worry in his eyes. She hated that she caused him to worry about her. He was supposed to be focusing on his matches, on kicking ass and taking names, not whether her hands shook or her legs ached. As she left him next to the hospitality tent, she knew the kind thing to do would be to end her relationship with him then and there, but Bella was selfish. She wanted him, even if it was only for the next two weeks.

—BDBH—

By the time Bella wrapped up her day, she'd filled two memory cards with photos and her body ached more than ever. It took all her strengthen to pack everything up and make the walk to her jeep, where not only was Edward waiting for her, but so were Jasper, Alice, Carlisle, and Esme. Bella had caught a few glances at her sister throughout the day, just enough to know that Esme worried that she was making a mistake by being with Edward. Esme wasn't wrong, but for once, Bella didn't want to let her impending death stop her from living. Maybe Jasper was right; maybe she needed to make a bucket list, but wasn't that just accepting her fate?

Esme pushed away from the jeep and meeting her halfway across the lot, wrapping her in a warm embrace. "I'm sorry."

"Me, too," Bella whimpered, hoisting her bag onto her shoulder and reaching for her sister's hands, which she allowed her to hold. "I know it's selfish, Essie. I just . . ." She shook her head. "I just want a chance to be happy, like you and Carlisle, Peanut and Cowboy. Even if it's not going to last. Even if it isn't fair to him."

"It's not selfish," Esme murmured, causing Bella to snort. "Okay, so maybe it's a little selfish, but if he makes you happy, if he makes the time you have left better, then I won't stand in your way. Just don't expect me not to worry."

"You not worry?" Bella teased with a smile. "I don't think it's possible."

"Whatever," Esme laughed, looping her arm with Bella's and tugging her toward her jeep, where everyone was waiting. "Hope you didn't have any big plans tonight. Carlisle thought it might be fun to take his boat out, grill some opah, and you know, just chillax."

"Did you just say chillax?" Bella snickered. "Essie, you really need to learn the new slang."

"Probably," she giggled as they stopped in front of the others. "So, what you do think?"

Bella shrugged her shoulders. "Sure, I guess. I had planned on working tonight. Getting a schedule made up for the tournament photo shoot, but I guess I can do that tomorrow."

"Or you can trust your partner," Alice scoffed. "I already have everything planned. I'll go over it with you tomorrow. Tonight, we're going to relax and have fun."

"We'll meet you at the marina," Carlisle said, wrapping his arms around Esme and dragging her backward toward her car. "Bring snacks, and don't forget your meds, Swan."

Alice and Jasper laughed before rushing to Alice's porche, leaving just Bella and Edward standing next to her jeep. Placing her camera case in the back seat, Bella leaned against the side with her body facing him.

"We don't have to go. We could bail, go back to my place, and find something to occupy our time."

Edward grinned as he matched her position, one hand sliding along her hip. She shivered from his touch, which only caused his smile to grow. "We could," he agreed. "But I did promise your sister that I'd get you there, and I don't want her to think I'm not a man of my word."

Bella raised an eyebrow at the news that he and Esme had chatted about her. "What'd she say to you?"

"Nothing," he lied, and when Bella hummed in disbelief, he sighed. "She asked me why I'm with you."

"And what'd you tell her?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant, but knew she failed.

"You really want to know?"

Bella nodded.

"I told her I'm here because I want to be with you, that I care about you."

Bella couldn't keep the smile off her face. "You do?"

Edward closed the gap between them, his hand on her hip sliding around to her back while his other cupped the right side of her face. "More than I want to even admit, Bella."

"You shouldn't be here with me," she whispered wanting nothing more than to feel his lips pressed against hers again. Needing the feeling of being that close to him.

"I know."

Edward tightened his arm around her as his lips connected with hers.

—BDBH—

An hour later, Bella pulled her jeep into the parking lot outside of the marina. She reached for the bags of snacks she and Edward had picked up at the local market, but before her fingers could as much as touch them, Edward had them hoisted out of the backseat with a look that clearly said not to argue with him. She bit the inside of her lip, trying to act annoyed, but to be honest, she found it sweet that he thought she couldn't handle a simple shopping bag.

"Lead the way," he said, once again smirking.

"Okay, but before we head to Carlisle's boat, there's something you probably should know." She grabbed her camera, walked around the jeep and stood facing him. "Carlisle only loves one thing more than this boat and that's my sister. Fuck something up, and he'll have your ass. The guy may look all calm and chill, but he'll light your ass up in a heartbeat. Got it?"

"You act like he's in the mob," Edward snickered.

"Just warning you now, dude," Bella scoffed and started toward the entrance to the marina.

"How long has he and Esme been together?"

"Um, ten years? Maybe longer," she replied, laughing when his eyes widened. "They met in high school, but didn't start dating seriously until their first year of college. Carlisle was going through a really tough time, and, well, my dad kind of brought him home like a lost puppy, I guess. A few months later, I caught them kissing in the pantry. They'd been sneaking around for weeks because they were afraid my dad wouldn't approve, but Charlie . . ." Bella shook her head and looked over at Edward. "Charlie always saw the best in everyone."

"You really miss him, don't you?"

Bella frowned and looked away. "Every day, even though . . ."

Edward shuffled the bags into one hand and grabbed her arm, pulling her to a stop. "Even though what?"

"Even though I hate him," she whimpered, her eyes filling with tears. "For leaving me, for passing Kufs onto me."

"Oh." Edward's hand dropped from her arm. "Guess that makes sense."

"Yeah," she murmured, sniffing back the tears before they could fall. She turned and gestured for him to follow her. As they approached the end of the marina, Bella sighed. "Well, that's it."

Edward's eyes widened as he took in the vessel in front of them. It wasn't your average boat. The Heesen Yacht was three tiered with a pool on the far end. Down below there were six bedrooms, three full bathrooms, large kitchen, a movie theater, and large living room overlooking the back deck.

"I don't think you can call this a boat," Edward said, slowly and looked down at her.

"When Carlisle graduated high school, his parents announced that they were getting divorced. It was a long time coming, according to Carlisle, but they were bitter and angry. Both tried their hardest to get him on their side, just one of the reasons why Charlie took him in. Carlisle hated them, hated that they treated him like a piece of property. The Cullen's are one of the most prominent families on the island. Anyway, during an argument, things got heated and Carlisle's father was killed, by his mother."

"Shit," Edward swore under his breath.

"Yeah, no kidding. Anyway, she insisted that it was self-defense and got off. She moved to the mainland after his father's will was read and she found out she wasn't going to get anything. Everything was left to Carlisle. He sold most of his father's holdings, but this boat meant too much, I guess."

"Does he ever talk to his mom?"

Bella shrugged her shoulders. "I've never asked. Figured if it was business, he'd tell me. He makes my sister happy. That's all I care about."

"It's about damn time you got here!" Carlisle yelled before leaning over the bar on the top tier. "Get your asses on board so we can set off. Your sister is getting pissed, and Peanut's starving. Remember what happened last time we didn't feed her on time?"

Bella laughed and hollered, "All right, all right, we're coming."

Carlisle's laughter could be heard as he disappeared from sight.

"What's he talking about?" Edward asked, following her to the small ramp leading to the boat.

"Peanut likes food. I mean, likes food a lot. For a small thing, she can eat. Anyway, a few years ago, right after my dad was diagnosed, we had gone out to dinner to celebrate her birthday, and well, the service was really bad. Took them two hours to get our order out and it was wrong. Peanut was starving by now and when the owner came to apologize for the third time, she slammed her hands on the table, stood up, and proceeded to call him a series of four letter words that had Charlie turning red and threatening to wash her mouth out with soap. Then, she flipped the table over and stormed out, leaving the rest of us to clean up her mess. By the time we'd caught up with her, she'd found the closest fish taco truck and had one in each hand and another ten in front of her. She all twelve, and still managed to get a huge ice cream Sunday."

Edward laughed and shook his head. "Now I see why Whitlock likes her so much."

"And why is that?" Bella asked, reaching over and pressing the button that raised the ramp, sealing it in place.

"On the outside, he's like this calm, collected guy, right?"

Bella nodded.

"When we're in the middle of a real gritty match, where the pressure is intoxicating and the crowd is passionate, yelling and screaming for us, it's like . . . like he can feel it. Feed off it. I guess, maybe, he feels that way around Alice, too."

"Is that how you feel when you're playing?"

Edward shook his head. "I block everyone but Whitlock out and whoever the poor sons of bitches we're demolishing out. All that matters is ending them."

"And if you lose?" she asked, biting the inside of her lip after the words slipped out of her mouth. "What happens then?"

"We don't lose."

"Ever?"

He shook his head. "Never. I want it too much, Bella, and when I want something, I don't let go."

The double meaning behind his words wasn't lost on her, but she wondered what would happen when he was forced to let her go? After all, she was dying.

 **Thank you for all the reviews.**


	15. Chapter 15

15

"So, Swan stands up, and in front of everyone in our chemistry class, says, 'The next person who asks me about the tournament is going to get my foot up their ass. I'm nervous as fuck and about to lose my shit, so calm the fuck down'." Alice laughed before taking a drink of her beer. "Mr. Grey stammered something about her not using that kind of language in his class and sent her to the office."

"When the chief walked into the office, I expected him to be pissed, but he wasn't," Bella snickered. "Instead, he shook his head, put his hands on his hips, and said, "Damn, Bella, you should see the swells coming in. Hurry and get your shit. We'll catch a few since you're no doubt going to be suspended."

Edward laughed. "Wow."

"That was the chief for you," Esme scoffed. "I don't know who was more disappointed when Bella blew out her knee: her or him. He loved watching her surf."

Bella frowned, wrapping her arms around her knees as she brought her bottle of water to her lips. She, Edward, Alice, Jasper, Esme, and Carlisle were sitting on the back deck of Carlisle's boat, having stuffed their faces with grilled Opah, fresh crabs, and so much more. While everyone else had split a twelve pack of beers, Bella had chosen water. With her meds, which she took with everyone watching, alcohol was a no-no. They'd been reminiscing about their lives for the past hour, which Bella wasn't sure was a good idea or not. Living in the past wasn't much easier than knowing she didn't have much of a future left.

"He loved everything his girls did," Carlisle said, ending the awkward silence that filled the air.

"Not enough to live, I guess," Bella quipped before letting her feet drop from the edge of her chair and standing.

She ignored the pleading look from her sister as she made her way to the far side of the boat, leaning against the railing. They were only about twenty miles off shore. Close enough that she could see the lights coming off the island, but far enough to pretend she wasn't dying.

Bella smiled when she felt a pair of arms slip around her waist, her body automatically melting against Edward. "Tell me about your family."

Edward sighed, released his hold on her, and moved so that he was leaning against the railing, his back to the water. "My parents divorced when I was five. Dad never got over it, I guess, and couldn't handle being around me if he couldn't have my mom, too. By the time I was seven, he had disappeared and mom remarried. With the new husband came an older brother, who made my life hell—as a good brother should," he said, laughing.

"So, you don't really get along with your step-brother?" Bella asked.

Edward frowned. "Most of the time, I guess. Don't really see him much with the tour and all."

"What about your mom and stepdad? Are you close to them?"

"It's complicated."

Bella placed her hand on his chest. "I understand complicated."

"Mom never really paid much attention to me, I guess. I was a reminder of my father. I look a lot like him, and she hated him, so in return she hated me. Well, maybe not hate, but she and my stepdad weren't around enough to like me, or my brother, I guess. Think that's why I love the game so much. It started as a distraction and became my passion."

"I can understand that," Bella murmured, leaning against him.

"Surfing?"

She nodded. "And photography. Surfing is just a way of life here for most people, but I was good — like really good. I had people looking at me from the time I was thirteen, but then I busted my knee and couldn't compete anymore, so I did what I loved second, and started taking pictures."

"Which are amazing, by the way," he said, smiling as his hands clutched her hips.

"You've seen my work?"

Edward laughed, nodding. "I might have googled you."

"You googled me?" she asked, raising an eyebrow as she grinned.

"Are you saying you didn't look me up on the web?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying. Why would I?"

"You weren't curious about me?"

"Of course I was, but I never thought about googling you."

"Hmm, okay, well, I guess I'm nosy. Anyway, when I googled you, I found your pictures, and they were really good."

"They're all right, I guess."

Edward dragged his hands up her back, over her shoulders so that he was cupping her face. "They're almost as beautiful as you."

And before she could protest, his lips were on hers, and everything was right in the world.

—BDBH—

For the second morning in a row, Bella woke up with Edward in her bed. He was laying on his stomach, a sheet barely covering the lower half of his body. She tried to be quiet as she dressed in a white bikini and slipped out of her bedroom. The door to Esme's room was closed, but Carlisle's shoes were next to the front door. Bella snatched her surf board from against the house and carried it down to the water. She stuck one end in the sand before raising her arms over her head and stretching. Her body ached — both from the episodes she'd had over the past week and two nights of love making with Edward.

No, not love making. Sex. It was just sex, she told herself. She couldn't allow herself to fall in love with Edward. He was a fling, her lover for the next ten days or so, until the tour took him somewhere else and she was left to die alone. That's all he could be.

"Are you going in? Looks like some pretty wicked waves setting up."

Bella twisted at the waist, finding Carlisle dragging his own board down the beach. "Are you going to yell at me if I do?"

"No," he chuckled. "Should I?"

Bella smirked and turned back toward the water. "Probably."

"So, um, I was going to talk to you about this later, but since we're alone right now," Carlisle started. He placed his board next to hers and started stretching his arms over his head. "I've been doing some research, looking for clinical trials that might offer you something."

She sighed.

"Look, I know, okay? But I figure it doesn't hurt to look, does it?"

"It's not going to help," she argued. "Terminal, Carlisle. That's what you told us when the chief . . . There's no cure."

"I know. I just thought, maybe, there might be something out there that could help."

"And was there?" she asked, trying to keep hope from lacing her words.

"Maybe," he said. "There's, um, this guy in New York, who has been using IV infusion therapy for MS patients. I've contacted him to see if his treatments might work for kufs, but he hasn't gotten back to me yet. It's not a cure, but might give you more time at least."

"More time, huh?" Bella whispered before reaching over and grabbing her board. "It doesn't matter how much time you can get me. In the end, I'm still going to die, aren't I?"

And without giving him a chance to respond, Bella ran into the water, trying to lose herself to the surf.

—BDBH—

A few hours, and a dozen waves later, Bella dragged herself out of the ocean, and back up toward the house. Carlisle hadn't mentioned his new treatment plan again after paddling out to join her, which she was grateful for. For just a few hours, she just wanted to enjoy the feeling of the board under her feet and a wave curling around her body.

Carlisle and Esme were seated at the kitchen table when Bella walked into the house. She ignored them as she went to her bedroom, finding Edward sitting on the side of her bed with his shoes in his hands. His bronze hair was wet and his shirt still unbuttoned.

"Hey," he said, grinning. "Were the waves bitching?"

Bella snorted at his use of slang. "The bitchiest. Where are you off to?"

"Gotta meet up with Whitlock for a run before the tournament starts. We're up against a team from Brazil that have almost beat us twice in the last year."

"Ah." Bella turned toward the dresser, pulled the top drawer open, and grabbed a pair of panties. "Well, I guess I'll see you at the pit then."

She heard Edward stand and a moment later felt his arms wrap around her waist. "Stay with me tonight."

"At your hotel?" she asked, tilting her head back so she could see him.

"Yep," he whispered and pressed his lips against the side of her head. "We'll order room service and raid the mini bar."

She laughed. "Hmm, I could be down for that."

"Good." Edward kissed her. "I'll see in a bit, okay?"

Bella hummed and walked to her bedroom door, watching as he quickly left. Unable to keep the smile off her face, stepped back into her room, closed the door, and told herself they were just having fun.

An hour later, Bella found Alice waiting for her at the entrance of the tournament. Like had been her habit over the last few days, Alice shoved a mango and kiwi smoothie in Bella's hand with a look that clearly said not to argue and just drink it.

"Okay, Peanut, let's hear it."

Alice laughed. "Straight down to business, eh, Swan? Okay, well, here's the plan. Since we have six teams to feature — three men's and three women's — I figured the best approach is to take one team in the morning and one in the afternoon over the next two days, and again over next weekend. I figured we'd start with Rosalie Hale and Tanya Clearwater in the morning with Edward and Jasper tomorrow afternoon, Kate Denali and Angela Webber the following morning with Garrett Mitchel and Ben Cheney that afternoon. Then the next Saturday, I've got Lauren Mallory and Jessica Stanley, Mike Newton and Tyler Crowley. I'm actually hoping Felix will stop being a dick and pick another team to feature, because between you and me, those guys are jackholes, who need a pineapple shoved up their asses."

Bella snorted. "No shit. Tyler Crowley doesn't seem too bad, but I'd rather not work with Mike Newton. The dick has already put his hands on me too many times."

"Oh, really?" Alice raised an eyebrow. "Leave it to me, Swan. I'll make sure we don't have to deal with him."

"Peanut," Bella warned with a shake of her head, but Alice wandered off in search of Felix before she could stop her. And that was why Bella made it a habit not to tell Alice everything.

Throughout the morning, Bella managed to fill three memory cards with pictures she'd taken of the players, action shots, and of the crowd. The beach was filled with supporters, especially as Edward and Jasper's match drew closer. With five minutes before their match was due to start, Bella slipped away from the pit and started toward the hospitality tent, needing a bottle of water and a banana to take her noon meds. It was hot and a headache had been to throb at the base of her neck. However, as she passed behind the bleacher, a pair of hands grabbed the tops of her arms and yanked her back and down onto the ground. Bella screamed, but a hand covered her mouth, muffling the plea for help as the crowd cheered whatever was happening in the pits. Bella's eyes widened when Mike Newton straddled her body, his hand over her mouth and his other slamming into the sand next to her head.

"You fucked with my career, bitch," he snarled. "You fucking, cock-teasing, bitch, fucked with my career!"

Tears filled Bella's eyes as she tried to deny that she had done anything to his career. Mike had her arms pinned to her side with his meaty thighs, and the lack of oxygen from his hand being over her mouth had her head throbbing worse.

Mike leaned down so that he was maybe an inch away from her. "Now, I'm going to fuck you, find out for myself why Mason likes your pussy."

Bella cried harder as she tried to free herself. Mike grabbed the front of her pink tank top with the hand that had been next to her head, yanking it down over her bikini top. However, before he could touch her breast, someone threw him off her, and Bella gasped for air as Seth slammed Mike onto the ground, his fist making contact with the left side of the assholes jaw.

Bella scrambled away from the two of them as Seth hit him again and again. The crowd above them appeared to have heard the commotion because moments later, they were surrounded by spectators. Felix pushed his way through the crowd, looked from Seth, who had Mike pinned face down in the sand, to Bella, who had her knees pulled against her chest.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Felix asked, dragging Mike out from under Seth with ease. "Jesus, you've busted his nose!"

"Serves him right," Seth snarled as he stood and gestured toward Bella. "He assaulted her!"

And just like that, everyone's eyes were on Bella's, including Edward and Jasper, who had joined the crowd of gawkers.

 **Thank you for all the reviews, and the insane patience with me. I just started a second job, so my time is limited, but I'm always working on updates, I promise.**


	16. Chapter 16

16

Bella could feel herself shaking as everyone stared at her. Edward's jaw was clenched so tight, she was afraid he'd crack all his teeth.

"Okay, Swan, you need to calm down," Alice said, ending the deafening silence that danced around them. She pushed past Jasper and knelt in the sand next to Bella, her tiny hands grasping Bella's trembling hands and bringing them up to her chest. "You're all right. Just take a deep breath for me, sweets."

Bella sucked in a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Her head, which had already been throbbing, felt like someone had stabbed her a hundred times with an ice pick before pouring salt in the wound. "I didn't do anything to him, Peanut. Nothing, I swear."

"Of course you didn't," she soothed.

"Bullshit," Newton snarled, tearing his arm out of Felix's grasp. Bella scrambled backward, causing him to laugh, though nothing was funny.

"Back the fuck off, you dirty motherfucker!" Seth seethed and moved to that he was standing between where Bella and Alice knelt and Mike stood.

"I didn't do anything to you!" Bella insisted, curling her fingers around Alice's hands and trying to stand, but her legs gave out on her.

"You got me and Crowley pulled from the photo shoot."

"No, no, no, I didn't," Bella stammered, her eyes shifting from Mike to Felix, who sighed and dragged a hand through his hair. "What's he talking about?"

"Don't worry about it," Felix said, grabbing Mike by the arm again and pushing him backward.

"What is he talking about, Felix?" Bella asked, feeling everyone looking between them.

Felix sighed. "Peanut told me about him putting his hands on you, so I made the decision to pull them from the shoot and replace them with another team since this asshole can't seem to keep his hands to himself."

"You can't do that! We have a contract," Newton snarled, trying to free himself again.

"Well too fucking bad you didn't read your contract because I made sure this one had a nice little clause about you not being a dick and after this little stunt, you are no longer a part of the PV. You've already been warned once about stepping over the line, Newton." He paused and looked back at Bella. "You are going to press charges, aren't you?"

Bella nodded. "Nobody assaults me and gets away with it."

As Felix dragged him toward the security office, muttering about calling the police and making sure these charges stuck, the sound of Mike Newton laughing echoed. Seth spared Bella a look of pity before following, most likely to give his own statement to the police, but also to make sure Newton didn't come near her again. While she was thankful that he had prevented Newton from doing anything more than grope her, she hated that now he saw the weak, pathetic person she had turned into. Before she got sick, she would have fought tooth and nail against an asshole like Mike Newton.

Tears of humiliation, fear, and pain filled Bella's eyes and she struggled to keep from screaming at everyone to stop looking at her. But mostly, she wanted Edward to hold her, to kiss her, to need her, but instead of doing any of that, he turned and walked away, ignoring Jasper as he reached for his arm.

Apparently, Edward had reached his limit.

"Okay, come on, Swan," Alice said, hooking her arms under Bella's and trying to heave her to her feet, but Bella was too heavy. "Cowboy, give me a hand."

"Um, yeah, sure," Jasper mumbled scurrying across the sand and helping Bella to her feet. Her legs felt wobbly and her hands were still shaking. "He's just scared."

She tilted her head back and looked at him.

"His feelings for you — they scares him," Jasper added.

"Yeah? Well, they scares me, too."

Jasper pressed his lips against Bella's forehead before sliding his arm around her waist. "Let's get you to the first aid tent, darlin. Make sure that asshole didn't do anything that I'm gonna need to kick his ass for."

Bella scoffed, but found herself letting him support her weight. "Don't you have a match to prepare for?"

"They can wait," he said. "You're more important."

Though Bella didn't agree with him, she didn't argue and allowed him and Alice to help her from behind the bleachers, through the crowd that still remained, and down to the first aid tent. Looking back at the pit, she expected to see Edward waiting for his partner, but he wasn't there. It wasn't until they heard lots of yelling that Bella where he was.

Jasper shifted Bella into Alice's arms and took off through the sand. By the time she and Alice caught up with him, he had Edward by the shoulders and was trying to keep him from getting around him. Sitting in the sand outside of the security tent, blood pouring from his nose, and his shirt ripped open, was Newton.

"I'll fucking kill you," Edward snarled. "You hear me, you motherfucker? I'll fucking kill you if you ever go near her again!"

Newton laughed and scrambled to his feet, prompting both Felix and Seth to move in front of him. "You can have the whore, Mason. She ain't worth getting my dick wet anyway."

Felix and Seth dragged Newton back into the security tent, and Jasper released his hold on Edward, looking back at Alice and Bella. Edward, who seemed to have just realized she was standing there, took a step toward her, but stopped when Bella put a shaking hand up.

"Let's go, Peanut," she whimpered, looking away. "Better call Carlisle, too."

"Yeah, okay, Swan," Alice whispered, and without another word, led Bella pasted Edward and Jasper and down to the medical tent.

—BDBH—

"How are they doing?" Bella asked, shifting her attention to the door of the medical tent where Alice had been pacing, pausing every few minutes to look out the canvas flap. Jasper and Edward's match had started ten minutes ago, and though she would deny it, Bella hated that she couldn't be out there to watch.

"What? I don't know what you're talking about, Swan," Alice lied. Outright lied.

Bella scoffed and brought her hands up in front of her, clenching her fingers when they started shaking again.

"Still feeling weak?"

Bella shifted her eyes to the chair next to the small cot she was laying on. Esme had barged into the tent about three minutes after Bella and Alice, rage rolling off her in waves. A part of Bella was surprised that Esme hadn't taken off after Newton, shown him what happens when you mess with her little sister. Yet, the other part knew Esme was more worried than anything else. She had called Carlisle, who was due at any moment.

"More of the same," she replied, tucking her hands between her body and her legs.

Esme hummed and pulled out her phone, sending a text message. Bella wasn't stupid. She knew texting Carlisle again.

"I'll, um . . ." Alice gave Bella a quick glance and smile before taking off out of the tent.

"Where'd she go?" Esme asked and started to stand, but Bella reached out and grabbed her arm, stopping her.

"Cowboy," she simple said.

"Ah." Esme laughed and sat back down. "She likes him, doesn't she?"

"She loves him." Bella shifted so that she was seated with her legs folded in front of her, her hands resting on her knees. "One day, they'll get married, have babies, a life together. They may stay on the island, or head back to the mainland, but they'll spend the next sixty years loving each other," she whimpered. "He makes her happy, Essie. So fucking happy. And Peanut deserves to be happy."

"So do you," Esme whispered, drawing Bella's attention to her. "Marriage and babies, a long life full of laughter — you deserve all of that, too."

"Doesn't matter, though. I won't get it," Bella muttered, and before Esme could say anything else, Carlisle and Felix rushed into the tent, aggravation etched on both their faces. "Is he gone? Have the cops arrested him?"

Felix's jaw tightened as he nodded. "They just left. Said they'd be in contact with you later for a statement, but Seth was able to give them enough to satisfy them for now. Mike Newton fucked up this time, and God willing, he won't be able to do this again."

"He's done it before?" Esme asked, voicing the question that Bella had been waiting to ask ever since Felix implied Newton's history of assaulting women.

"Nothing quite this extreme," he groused. "Harassment, rude and improper comments, but he'd never actually assaulted anyone before. At least, that I know of. I'd never been able to get rid of him because he finds loopholes in his contracts, ways around shit like this. But I made sure he wouldn't be able to this time. I'm just sorry you were the one he messed with, Swan."

"Me, too," she quipped, clenching her fingers into fists. "I didn't want Peanut to tell you, I wasn't trying to get him kicked off of the shoot."

"I know." Felix pulled a chair over and sat in front of her. "When Peanut told me that Newton had been . . . inappropriate with you, I made the decision that Newton and Crowley weren't the right team to be a face of PV. You aren't the only woman this week to tell me that Newton's made crude or ugly comments toward them, so when he questioned why I was pulling him, I told him there had been complaints of unacceptable behavior. I guess, he assumed they came from you. I never expected him to go after you like that. I'm sorry, Swan. So fucking sorry."

"Not your fault Newton's an ass," Bella quipped, shifting her eyes to Carlisle, who looked at annoyed by having to wait for Felix to bare his confession. "I'm fine, Car. Just sore from being thrown to the ground."

Carlisle snorted, but didn't say anything as his eyes shifted to Felix.

Bella sighed and looked at her old friend. "I don't really want to get into this, but I guess I owe you an explanation about my . . . Well, about my health. I, um, I'm sick. I have a disease called Kuf's, which effects my nervous system. I have seizures sometimes, and my hands shake a lot. Sometimes, like the other day, I have trouble speaking, trouble breathing because my brain doesn't tell my body how to work right. I, um . . ." Shaking her head, she tried to keep the tears from falling, tried not to sob like an infant. "It's, um . . . there's no cure, so . . ."

"You're gonna die," Felix whispered, not asking, but Bella found herself nodding all the same. "Shit, Swan."

"Yeah, I know," she whimpered.

"I'm sorry. I . . . I don't really know what to say."

"Nobody does." Bella whipped the tears off her face with the back of her hand. "This is why I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to look at me like that."

"Like what?" Felix asked, his face filled with pity and sorrow.

"Like I'm not the same woman who kicked your ass in tenth grade after you broke up with Clara Marten because she wouldn't suck your dick."

Felix brought his hand up to his mouth, trying to keep from crying. "You made me apologize to her. Called me a motherfucker and threatened to tell your dad, saying he'd kick my ass, too."

"He would have, too," Esme quipped, crossing her legs at the knee. "If there's one thing Charlie Swan didn't tolerate was teenage boys who tossed girls aside for not putting out."

Felix nodded and stood. "I've gotta get back to the tournament, make sure we don't lose any sponsors because of what happened. I'll check back with you in a bit, okay?"

"All right." Bella waited until Felix left before shifting her attention to Carlisle. "My legs hurt. They feel weak, like really weak. And, um, my head hurts," she whimpered. "Had a headache before he . . . But now it's worse."

"The stress of . . ." Carlisle settled in chair Felix had just been in, leaning forward so that his elbows were on his knees and his hands were clasped in front of him. "I was going to say the stress of the attack, but let's be honest, Bella: your health is declining faster than Charlie's did."

Bella frowned.

"I think we need to consider more aggressive treatments," he added. "That doctor I was telling you about this morning, the one who is doing the trails — he got back to me about an hour ago. In fact I was on the phone with him when Esme texted about what happened. Anyway, he's not a hundred percent sure, but he thinks his infusions can help."

"Wait, what are you talking about?" Esme asked, drawing Carlisle's attention to her. Clearly he hadn't told her about his research, surprising Bella. She assumed Esme had been the push he needed to look for experimental treatments.

Carlisle sighed. "I, um, I was telling Bella this morning about this doctor in New York. He's been having a lot of success treating MS patients with IV infusion treatments. It's a long shot, and there's no guarantee that these treatments will help her, but I sent him her chart, her test results and he seems to think there's a chance."

"That's great," Esme cheered, but stopped when Bella scoffed and scooted off the cot, standing with a wince as her legs ached. Both she and Carlisle reached for her, but she pushed their hands away. "Bella…"

"A chance, Essie?" she whimpered. "What chance? A few months? A year? There's no cure for Kufs. No matter what I do, I'm going to die. Why can't you just accept it?"

Esme started to respond, but Bella rushed out of the tent. Her lungs ached as she struggled to breathe, to keep from screaming and raging, and begging God for more time.

Alice, Jasper, and Edward were standing just outside of the tent, the look on their faces made it clear they'd heard every word that Esme, Carlisle, and Bella had said. With tears burning and threatening to fall, Bella turned to leave them, too, but stopped when Edward wrapped his fingers around the tops of her arms, pulling her body against his.

"Don't do this," he whispered.

"Do what?" The words escaped her before she could stop them. Her brain was telling her to run, to let him go and get on with what short amount of time she had left, yet her heart screamed at her to let him in, let him be her constant in a world of inconstancy.

"Don't give up." Edward pressed his lips against the side of her neck, dragging them upward to her ear. "Fight."

The tears she'd been fighting fell as she pulled away from him, turning so she was facing him. "I can't, not anymore. I'm tired, Edward. Tired of pretending you and I can be anything other than this."

"That's not true," he argued, reaching for her, but she pulled away. "You don't get to do this, Bella."

"Do what?" she argued. "Accept that I'm dying? I have because I am. I'm dying, Edward. I'm fucking dying. In a month, a year, maybe two, but I am dying and there's no point in pretending otherwise. Not anymore."

"That may be true," he said, the words sounding like they hurt him to admit. "But that doesn't mean that you and I can't be together, that I can't be there for you."

"I don't want you to watch me die," she cried.

Edward took a step toward her, his hands coming up to cup her face. "I'm not going anywhere, Bella, and you know why?"

"Why?" she asked before she could stop herself.

"Because I love you."

And without giving her a chance to respond, Edward kissed her.

 **Thank you for all the reviews and I apologize for the delay. I struggled to get this chapter right.**


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